


Nine Months

by AylahGrace



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:22:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 24,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25728892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AylahGrace/pseuds/AylahGrace
Summary: When Jensen and Jared hook up after celebrating the show's 100th episode, neither one of them is expecting the consequences of that one-time thing to change their lives forever.
Relationships: Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki
Comments: 64
Kudos: 238





	1. Prolog

**_30 th January 2010_ **

“We shouldn’t be doing this.”

A breathless chuckle. “Probably not.”

“If someone finds out…”

A moan. “They won’t.”

“But—”

“Jared.”

Blinking, Jared looks down into the familiar, most beautiful pair of green eyes he’s ever seen. He swallows, unable to tear his gaze away. Jensen’s breath is hot on the exposed skin of his throat, making him shiver. He can feel a door handle digging into his back, but he doesn’t care. All he cares about is the warm, muscular body pressed against his own. Jensen licks his lips, sending another jolt of desire and want down Jared’s spine.

Jensen’s voice is husky when he speaks, “If you don’t want this, tell me now. Because if we keep going, I don’t think I’ll be able to stop.”

Heart beating wildly in his chest, Jared tries to form a coherent thought. They’re both drunk and the smell of Whiskey and spicy cologne is like a drug between them, making thinking clearly even more difficult.

When Jensen pulls back an inch, Jared’s body makes the decision for him. Fisting the fabric of Jensen’s white dress shirt, he yanks him flush against his chest again. Their mouths crash together and stopping is about the last thing on Jared’s mind. “I want this,” he huffs against Jensen’s full lips.

“Okay,” Jensen breathes and deepens the kiss. His fingers begin to work on the fly of Jared’s slacks and that’s when he fully loses the ability to think straight. Eyes fluttering closed, Jared lets go of all self-control and ducks down to suck on the soft spot behind Jensen’s ear. The nagging voice in the back of his mind that keeps saying that this is a bad idea keeps getting quieter until their mutual grunts and groan drown it out completely.


	2. 1st Month

**_1 st February 2010_ **

As expected, things are weird when they return to set on Monday morning. There has always been _something_ between them—since the very beginning of the show—but neither one of them has ever acted on it, and this is exactly why.

Not only are they coworkers and best friends, but they’re also both seeing other people. Jared’s been dating Genevieve Cortese for a little over a year and Jensen himself has been going out with Danneel Harris a couple of times. Granted, Danneel is more of a friend to him than anything else but, last he heard from Jared, the thing between him and Gen is getting kind of serious.

A guilt-like feeling twists Jensen’s insides. Jared is his best friend and he doesn’t want to be the reason he and Genevieve don’t work out. Thus, after getting his hair and makeup done, he heads for Jared’s trailer. He’s aware that Jared’s been avoiding him all morning and he’s going to put an end to it now.

Knocking on the door, he can hear his friend’s, “Come in!”

Jared, who’s sitting on the couch with a script lying across his lap, tense visibly. “Jen, hey,” he says and clears his throat. “What’s up?”

“We need to talk,” Jensen says straightforwardly and takes a seat next to him.

“Uhm, yeah. Sure,” Jared replies and puts the lines he’s been reading aside. He’s obviously uncomfortable and Jensen can’t blame him. He’d rather not be having this conversation, either.

“Look,” Jensen begins and leans forward, arms braced on his knees. “That _thing_ between us? It shouldn’t have happened.”

Jared bites his lip and nods. “I know.”

“We were both drunk and—”

“—and it didn’t mean anything, right?” Jared adds and Jensen flinches just the tiniest bit.

Still, he nods in agreement. “Right. How about we just forget it happened.”

Jared runs a hand through his hair, back to chewing on his bottom lip. He looks a little like he’s about to freak out, which puts Jensen on edge as well. “Hey,” he says, placing a hand on his friend’s thigh. “Relax. We’ll just move on and pretend like this never happened. No one has to know.”

Jared swallows and looks up to meet Jensen’s eyes. “Are we good?”

Smiling, Jensen squeezes his knee. “Of course, we’re good.”

And they are.

It takes a couple of days for them to find their _normal_ again but, once they do, they’re back to joking around and teasing each other as if that night never happened. They have a silent agreement to never mention it again and they both stick to it.

**_7 th February 2010_ **

“Something’s different.”

Jensen raises an eyebrow and gives his date a sideways glance. “What do you mean?”

Danneel squints her brown eyes as she looks at him. “I don’t know. I can’t put my finger on it,” she murmurs and purses her lips.

Snorting out a laugh to cover up the fact that her scrutinizing gaze makes him feel self-conscious, he glances back at the golf tournament taking place in front of them and takes a sip of his white wine. They’ve been coming to this charity event together for years. Even though Danneel is not a huge fan of golf, she knows how much he enjoys it.

“Did you get laid?”

He almost chokes on the drink. “What?” he coughs, wine dribbling down his chin, as he stares at her with wide eyes. She’s never been one to hold back.

A knowing smile tugs at the corners of her lips and she nudges him with her shoulder. “I _knew_ it.”

Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, Jensen gives her an uncomfortable look. They’ve been friends—with the occasional benefit—for years and trying to keep things from her is like trying to hide something in a glass box; absolutely impossible.

“It wasn’t a big deal,” he shrugs, aiming for nonchalant. “We were both drunk.”

She reaches over and snatches the wine out of his hand. “Tell me about the lucky lady,” she smirks and takes a sip of his drink.

“It’s not like that,” Jensen mutters quietly and rubs the back of his neck. Danneel knows all about his sexuality, but most people don’t, which is how he’d prefer to keep it.

“Oh, _she_ is a _he_ ,” Danneel grins. “Now I’m even _more_ curious. Tell me everything! Where did you guys meet?”

“Dee—”

“Is he in the business?”

Jensen sighs. “Danneel—”

“Was he good in bed?”

“Danneel, enough!”

A few people turn around and glare at him and he gives them an apologetic smile. He rubs his eyes with the fingers of his right hand and when he looks up, Danneel is squinting at him again.

“Now what?” he groans.

“I know him, don’t I.” It’s not a question and they both know it.

Jensen could try and lie about it, but he knows that Danneel would see right through him. He made a promise to himself to never think about that night again, much less talk about it. However, with Danneel staring at him expectantly, he feels like the only way out of this is by just telling her the truth. After all, he and Jared both agreed that it wasn’t a big deal.

“I slept with Jared.”

Danneel’s jaw drops open almost comically.

“It was a one-time thing,” Jensen is quick to add, as if that makes the situation any better.

“You hooked up with your _best friend_?!” Danneel blurts out.

“Hey, keep it down!” he hisses and looks around to see if anyone has heard her. The last thing he needs is any kind of rumors about him and his costar.

Danneel shakes her head and he can tell that she would really like to punch him in the face. “I can’t believe you! How _on earth_ did that happen?!”

Jensen sighs, growing a little frustrated. He’s already asked himself that very same question dozens of times. He doesn’t need to mull it over _again_. “What part of _we were drunk_ did you not understand?”

He gets it. This isn’t what she was expecting. And, to be frank, it was a surprise to him as well. Never in a million years did he think he’d ever wake up with Jared sprawled out on top of him.

“Did you guys have fun, at least?” she asks.

“I’m _not_ having that conversation with you,” he grunts. He stares back at the putting green that’s being played on and crosses his arms over his chest.

Danneel sighs. “You know this is going to come back and bite you in the ass, right?”

He sighs. “Jared and I talked about it. It was a one-time thing that didn’t mean anything,” Jensen explains, avoiding her eyes. “We’ve already moved past it.”

“That’s not how it works, Jen, and you know it.”

“Can we drop this, please?” he groans and turns around to head toward the nearest bar. “I need a drink…”

**_1 st March 2010_ **

Jensen groans when his doorbell rings. Putting down his phone and hoisting himself off the couch, he shuffles over to the door and unlocks it. The moment it swings open, confetti rains down on him and a colorful paper streamer is wrapped around his neck.

He smiles at the people that have gathered in the hallway of his apartment building and steps aside to let them enter. He catches sight of six large cases of beer and his smile becomes a little strained. Even though it’s only Monday, he’s already exhausted. They’re in the middle of shooting the second to last episode of the season and because they’re a couple of days behind schedule, things are pretty hectic on set. Today was no exception.

“Don’t just stand there, Ackles, get your ass over here and have a beer!” someone shouts.

Saying goodbye to his plan of going to bed early, Jensen closes the door and walks over to the group of people. He squeezes onto the couch in between Jared and one of the camera guys and accepts a cold bottle of beer.

“Happy birthday, man,” Jared grins and clinks his bottle against Jensen’s. A bunch of toasts follow and by the time he can finally take his first sip, the beer is almost lukewarm.

“So, how does thirty-two feel?” Jared asks a little while later, before he shoves a handful of tortilla chips in his mouth. They haven’t really had time to talk today and in between takes, they were both busy learning new lines and preparing for upcoming scenes.

Jensen chuckles. “Not that much different from thirty-one.”

Jared grins and reaches up to pluck a hair from Jensen’s head. “Your grey hair is telling a different story.”

With a snort, Jensen elbows his best friend in the side. “I do _not_ have grey hair.”

“You keep telling yourself that, old man,” Jared teases good-humoredly.

Rolling his eyes, Jensen drains the last of his beer and before he can even put it down, a new bottle is shoved in his hand. “Drink up!”

Jensen is on his fourth beer and in the midst of having a conversation with Misha, when a sudden hot flash makes him falter mid-speech. The room begins to tilt a little to the right and he blinks his eyes.

Misha looks him with a frown. “Are you all right?”

Giving his friend a small smile and a nod, Jensen puts his bottle down on the nearest surface. “Yeah, yeah. It’s just _really_ hot in here,” he huffs and tugs at the collar of his shirt.

“We should probably open a window or turn the AC up a notch,” Misha agrees.

“I got it,” Jensen says and gets up. He feels a little unsteady on his feet as he makes his way over to the balcony to let some fresh air in. In hindsight, he probably shouldn’t have drunken four beers within one hour.

As soon as the sliding doors are opened, he steps outside, embracing the freezing Vancouver night. He walks over to the railing and grasps it with both hands. The cold air helps to clear his head and the dizziness lessens considerably.

He’s taking a few deep breaths when a heavy hand clasps his shoulder. “What are you doing out here?”

Looking over, Jensen sees Jared leaning against the railing next to him. His eyes are slightly glazed over, which is an obvious sign that he’s had more than his fair share of beer as well.

“Just needed some air,” Jensen explains.

Jared nods his head in the general direction of the other guests. “Pretty crowded in there,” he says and adds with a snort, “I didn’t think that many people would show up.”

“What can I say? I’m a popular guy,” Jensen replies smugly.

Jared’s laugh is contagious and Jensen can’t keep a straight face. Their arms brush and when Jared lists a bit too far to the side, Jensen props him up with his shoulder. “Dude, how much have you had to drink?” he grunts, amused, when his best friend’s weight almost makes him stumble.

“A healthy amount,” Jared answers with a smirk. Then he pats Jensen’s chest. “Hey, before I forget it. I got you something.” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a neatly wrapped package. “I hope you like it.”

A plain, black box appears when Jensen takes off the wrapping paper. Carefully, he pops open the lid. When he lays eyes on a absolutely gorgeous Rolex watch, he lets out a low whistle. “Wow, she’s a beauty!”

“You like it? I found her in that vintage store around the corner,” Jared explains, looking extremely proud of himself. “Try it on!”

Not having to be told twice, Jensen takes the watch out of the box and wraps the leather band around his wrist. It fits like a glove. “I love it. Thanks, Jay,” he grins and pulls Jared into a hug.

The sound of people singing _Sweet Caroline_ drifts toward them. “We should probably wrap this party up before your neighbors call the cops to complain about the noise,” Jared chuckles.

Jensen flinches when he hears the sound of something breaking. “Good idea.”


	3. 2nd Month

**_26 th March 2010_ **

Jensen is tired.

More tired than can be fixed by taking a day off and sleeping in once.

It’s the kind of tired that not only affects your body, but also your mind and soul.

It’s the kind of tired that makes you feel like you’re submerged in water, like every single step and every single word requires too much effort.

Looking up from where he’s slouched in his cast chair, Jensen can see that Jared isn’t faring much better. It’s their last day of shooting before summer break and they’re both running on empty.

“Alright!” the assistant director shouts. “We’re ready to go again!”

With a weary sigh, Jensen hoists himself to his feet. His entire body protests and he winces when his back twinges. He and Jared have been shooting the final showdown between Dean and a Lucifer-possessed Sam for the past several hours. Bruises are already beginning to form on his hipbones from where he’s been repeatedly slammed against the Impala.

As he gets in position across from Jared in the middle of the cemetery, someone comes up to him and dribbles fake blood in his mouth. After getting punched in the face, he’s supposed to spit it out and pretend like the fist broke skin.

As they wait for Steve Boyum, the episode’s director, to shout out orders, Jensen tilts his head forward in an attempt not to accidentally swallow the fake blood. He takes a deep breath in through his nose when the taste of it makes him feel vaguely nauseous.

“Man, I can’t wait to get home and just do _nothing_. This season has been kicking my _ass_!” Jared murmurs, then adds with a proud smile, “But we made it to one-hundred episodes, dude! Who would have thought?”

Jensen gives him a lopsided smile, unable to verbally reply due to the liquid in his mouth. He’s proud of everything the show has achieved and since they’ve been given the go-head by the network for another season, their journey isn’t over yet.

“Final touches!”

“Finals are done.”

“Camera ready?”

“Ready!”

“Quiet on set! Roll sound.”

“Sound is speeding.”

“Scene sixteen, take six!”

“Action!”

They both get into their character’s headspace in the blink of an eye and deliver their lines without a hitch. Despite knowing that they’re just acting, Jensen can _feel_ the pain—emotional and physical—Dean is in as he’s getting beaten up by his own brother.

After Jensen is thrown to the ground for the tenth time that day and Jared advanced toward him to pull him up by the front of his lapels, Steve yells, “Cut!”

Jensen admires his best friend’s ability to shift from cold and dangerous to kind and warm-hearted within seconds. Jared isn’t only the perfect fit for Sam, he also nails Lucifer in every single scene.

Jared extends his hand and pulls Jensen to his feet. Someone hands Jensen a bottle of water and he quickly takes a sip, swirls it around his mouth and then spits it out into the grass.

Lunch break is announced and they make their way over to one of the vans that takes them back to base camp further down the road. Neither one is saying much, both aware that the most difficult scene of the day is still lying ahead of them.

While Jared is digging into his food as if he’s scared someone is going to take it from him, Jensen is just pushing his chicken breast around on his plate. He was two bites in when he realized that he’s not really hungry.

“Dude, you gotta try the baked potatoes. They’re awesome!” Jared mumbles around the partly chewed-up food in his mouth.

Jensen’s stomach churns at the prospect of anything that isn’t water and pushes his barely touched lunch away. “I think I’m good.”

Jared eyes him with a frown. He quickly swallows down what’s in his mouth and gives him a pointed look. “You can’t be done already.”

Shrugging, Jensen grabs his cup of water and drains it in one go. “Not hungry.”

Jared puts down his fork, food forgotten for now. “Is everything okay?” he asks, voice lower than before. He looks genuinely concerned.

“Yeah, everything’s fine. Not everyone can eat half a cow a day, man.” Jensen replies with a chuckle.

Jared doesn’t look convinced. “Look, I wasn’t going to say anything,” he begins and Jensen cringes. He doesn’t know what his best friend is going to say next, but he’s pretty sure he’s not going to like it. Jared continued, “You’ve lost some weight, Jen. Not much, but it’s noticeable.”

Noticeable? Jensen blinks. He has to admit that he hasn’t really had an appetite lately. It’s nothing unusual, though. At least not when taking into consideration how taxing the last couple of days and weeks have been. They’ve been working up to sixteen-hours a day and Jensen does tend to skip meals when he’s stressed.

“Jay, I’m _fine_ ,” he says. “I’m just _really_ tired. I mean, aren’t you? It’s always the same at the end of each season.”

Biting the inside of his cheek, Jared nods slowly. “I know,” he agrees. “As soon as we’re done here, I’m going to crash for twenty-four hours straight.”

“God, me too,” Jensen sighs. The thought of sleeping in his own bed again and not having to set an alarm in the morning sounds like heaven on earth. There are a couple of conventions coming up right after this but they’re mainly just weekend affairs, except for the one in Rome.

“Here, at least eat my protein bar.”

The candy Jared throws across the table bounces off Jensen’s chest and he awkwardly manages to catch it before it falls to the floor. Humoring his best friend, Jensen tears the wrapping paper open and takes a bite. “Maybe, if I lose another pound or two, I’ll the same amazing abs you have,” he jokes as he chews on the peanut butter bar.

Jared barks out a laugh. “Dream on, Ackles, _dream on_.”

The last scene of the day is grueling.

Jensen is getting an almost unbearable tension headache halfway through shooting it and he feels raw after going through all the grief and pain Dean is going through. Fake blood is making his skin sticky and he can barely see through the make-up that was applied to make it look like his left eye is swollen shut.

Taking a deep, cleansing breath, he tries to gather enough composure to make it through another take. Next to him, Jared seems to be struggling with his emotions as well.

The camera is facing him this time and Jensen puts everything he has into the scene. Through Dean’s eyes, he watches as Sam gives him one last look, before he plunges into the cage together with Michael. This isn’t the first take but, suddenly, in the midst filming, something inside of Jensen just _snaps_.

Overcome with second-hand emotions, it’s getting hard to breathe and his stomach lurches. He’s barely got enough time to twist to the side before he’s throwing up.

Someone yells, “Cut!” and two seconds later, a pair of strong hands grips his shoulders. While he continues to vomit, one of the hands moves to his back and rubs calming circles.

When he’s done turning himself inside out, he wipes the sleeve of his jacket over his mouth and gives his coworkers a sheepish look. “Sorry about that,” he rasps.

There’s a flurry of activity around him then. People are asking him if he’s alright, if he needs anything—Food? Something to drink? A doctor?—and Steve comes over to ask if he’s okay to go on.

Feeling rather embarrassed about puking in front of dozens of people, Jensen tells the director that he’s fine. The only one who doesn’t look convinced is Jared, who hasn’t left his side at all.

However, before Jared can actually voice his doubts, Jensen beats him to it, “Don’t say anything, alright? I’m perfectly fine. The moment just got to me.” It’s not really a lie. The nausea is gone and even the headache has lessened. He’s still a little shaky, but that might just be due to embarrassment than anything else. This isn’t the first time he had a hard time coming to terms with Dean’s emotional state.

Jensen climbs to his feet and runs a hand through his hair. Someone comes over with a bottle of water and a mint and, after taking both, he motions for everyone to get back in position. They only have a couple of hours of shooting left and after working in television for as long as he has, he knows how to push through.

When they finally wrap for the season at around nine o’clock at night, everyone starts to cheer and clap. Everyone is proud of a season well done and is now looking forward to some time off. Some crew members decide to head out to a bar downtown, but Jensen and Jared have to catch a flight to Los Angeles early the next morning. Back in LA, they’ll have about thirty-six hours of downtime before they’re scheduled to appear at their first convention of the year.

As he and Jared are driven back to their respective apartments in Vancouver, Jensen makes a mental list of all the things he needs to pack before heading to the airport. He barely makes it through the first five items of said list before he nods off.


	4. 3rd Month

**_28 th March 2010_ **

Jensen feels like utter crap. He’d woken up in the morning feeling nauseous and just generally _off_. After choking down some plain toast and a cup of coffee, he swallowed a Zofran and got ready for the convention at the Marriott hotel.

Now, stuck in traffic, the limousine that picked him up right by his apartment building is slowly rolling along Melrose Avenue and the constant _stop-go_ motion of the vehicle is not really helping the roiling in his gut. Closing his eyes, he props his elbow up on the window sill and holds a loose fist to his lips.

Jared, who’s sitting next to him, gives him a gentle nudge. “You okay, man? You don’t look so good…”

Swallowing thickly, Jensen cracks one eye open and glances at his best friend. Jared doesn’t look all that well rested either, but Jensen knows it isn’t due to any illness or sickness. It’s because Gen’s in town. Jensen knows all about it because Jared shared his romantic plans with him on their flight from Vancouver to LA the day before. The bags under Jared’s eyes and the way he seems absolutely blissed out are prove enough that neither he nor Genevieve have gotten a lot of sleep.

Smothering the absurd feeling of unnecessary jealousy, Jensen gives him a tired smile. “I’m good. Stomach’s just kinda off.”

“Did you take anything?” Jared asks, eyebrows drawn together.

“Yeah, not sure if it’s helping, though,” Jensen huffs out. He takes a deep breath in through his nose and out through his mouth when his stomach lurches. Sweat breaks out at his hairline and he has to swallow back a gag.

“Whoa, dude,” Jared yelps. “Are you going to puke?”

Jensen glares at him. “No,” he grunts, pretty sure it’s the truth. He blows out a slow breath and manages to wrangle his churning stomach back under control. He’s _not_ going to throw up in the backseat of a rented car.

“You could have fooled me. I’m pretty sure you just turned two shades paler,” Jared huffs, but his eyes are filled with compassion.

“I’m _not_ going to puke.”

“Whatever you say, man,” Jared shrugs. “Just… in case you change your mind; please aim away from my shoes. They’re brand new.”

Jensen rolls his eyes but can’t help the grin that tugs at his lips. “You’re a jerk,” he mutters and punches Jared in the arm.

Thankfully, Jensen makes it through the event without having to run off stage. Right before the first panel, he took another Zofran and that time it actually seemed to help. He was able to joke around on stage with Jared, answer a ton of questions and then entertain his fans during a private meet and greet. By the time he falls into bed, he has already forgotten about his little episode in the car.

**_1 st April 2010_ **

“I’m going to ask Gen to marry me.”

Jensen thinks it’s an April Fool’s joke and snorts out a laugh. When Jared fails to join in, he looks at his best friend with an apologetic smile. “You’re serious.”

Rubbing the back of his neck, Jared nods. “Yeah.”

Jensen clears his throat. “Sorry,” he apologizes. The news don’t come as a huge surprise. Sooner or later, Jensen expected them to take the plunge. What he didn’t expect is for his best friend to announce it while they’re waiting in line to go through airport security.

Jared shrugs his carry-on bag off his shoulder. “It’s about time, I think. We’ve been dating for a while and we’ve been looking at houses in LA,” he explains as he grabs a tray, throws his bag in and places it on the conveyor belt along with his phone and jacket.

Jensen smiles. “That’s great, man. I’m happy for you.” He means it, but there’s a weird aching feeling in his gut all of a sudden.

“Thanks,” Jared says, smiling. “I hope she’s going to say yes. I already bought the most gorgeous ring.”

Laughing, Jensen nudges him with his shoulder. “She will. You’re a jackpot.”

After they both place their belongings on the roller conveyor to get x-rayed, they step up to the walk-through metal detector. Jared has already gone through it when Jensen gets hit by a wave of dizziness. Everything tilts to the right and he widens his stance to steady himself. Nausea twists his stomach and the sour taste of bile floods his mouth.

“Next,” the officer handling the metal detector calls out, waving him forward.

Swallowing against the strong urge to throw up, Jensen walks up to the machine on rubbery legs. He walks through it and is grateful when no alarm goes off. Stomach churning, he quickly motions for Jared to grab all of their stuff before he bolts for the nearest restroom.

“You sure you’re all right, Jen?”

Concern is plastered all over Jared’s face as he sits perched on the edge of his seat by their gate. They’ve retreated to a corner in an attempt to not draw any attention. So far, two fans have already spotted and come up to them.

“Stop looking at me like that,” Jensen grunts. “I’m fine.” He takes a sip from the ginger tea Jared has conjured up from god knows where and hopes it will settle his upset stomach. After throwing up, he’s not really feeling sick anymore, but his gut is definitely still off. The thought of being crammed into a plane for the next thirteen hours is making him want to scream.

“You don’t have a fever, do you?” Jared asks with a deep frowned edge onto his forehead.

Jensen sighs and rubs his pounding temple. “No. It’s just my stomach. Maybe I’m coming down with something. I’ve been feeling kinda iffy lately.”

Jared looks worried and slightly irritated. “Why didn’t you say it’s gotten worse?”

“Jay, it’s not a big deal,” Jensen mutters tiredly. “I’ve got some stuff in my suitcase. Zofran and Pepto and all that crap.”

“We’re about to board a thirteen-hour flight. You sure you’re up for that?”

Right then, the speaker at their gate comes to life, _“American Airlines flight 6991 to London Heathrow is now ready for boarding.”_

Jensen downs the last of his tea and grabs his backpack. “Let’s go,” he says, choosing to ignore his best friend’s question. There’s no way he’s going to cancel his trip to Italy. Not only would the fans be incredibly disappointed, but the organizers would also have a hard time trying to turn the entire schedule upside down to make it work with one less man. Jensen isn’t going to do that to them. Besides, he’s going to be fine. He’s had worse than an annoying stomach bug.

The first eight hours of the flight go by fast. After boarding, Jensen decides to close his eyes for a few minutes and promptly falls asleep. He briefly wakes up when Jared nudges him awake to ask if he wants to eat something, but after declining he nods off again.

The next time he wakes up, the lights in the cabin have been dimmed and Jared is snoring softly in the large seat next to his. Brain still fuzzy from sleep, it takes Jensen a few seconds to realize what woke him up.

As he shifts in his seat, he becomes aware of the ache in his stomach. With a wince, he presses a hand to his belly and tries to breathe through the pain. He suddenly begins to sweat like crazy and the ever-present nausea makes another ugly return.

With shaky fingers, he opens his seatbelt and gets up. Thankfully, business class is more spacious so he has no problem climbing over Jared’s long legs.

Most people are asleep as Jensen makes his way to the front of the plane. He slips into the restroom, locks the door behind his back and turns to face the small sink. When he catches sight of himself in the mirror, he grimaces. He looks pale and sweaty, and his eyes are shiny as if he’s about to cry. Grabbing a paper towel, he wets it with cold water and dabs it all over his face and neck.

The plane dips slightly and so does Jensen’s stomach. Whirling around, he has just enough time to bend over the toilet before water and bile rush up his throat.

When he’s done emptying his stomach, he flushes and washes his hands. His belly is still churning uncomfortably as he exits the restroom. Looking around, he spots a flight attended and walks over to her.

“Excuse me,” he asks quietly. “Could I get some water?”

The woman turns around and smiles at him. “Of course, sir.”

While she’s busy filling a glass, he leans against the closest wall and closes his eyes. He feels like shit.

“Sir, are you all right?”

He opens his eyes and sees the worried expression on her face. He gives her a tired smile. “Motion sickness,” he explains, even though he knows that’s not it. He’s never gotten sick on a plane before.

“I’m sorry to hear that. Is there anything else I can get you?” she asks as she hands him the water and a napkin. “Would you like some crackers?”

“No, thank you. I’m just gonna try to get some more sleep,” he replies.

“All right. If there’s anything we can do for you, just let me know. We’re going to land in London in about two hours,” she tells him and Jensen nods. Two hours. That’s not too bad.

They arrive at London Heathrow at around lunchtime. As they disembark the plane, Jared is stretching his back and popping his joints. Although the seats in business class are fairly large, Jared still has a hard time fitting his 6’4 frame into them comfortably.

Jared checks his wristwatch. “We have about an hour and a half before our flight to Rome. How about we grab a bite to eat? I’m starving.”

Jensen purses his lips. The absolute last thing he wants right now is to put anything in his stomach. For the first time in a while he’s not feeling sick and he’d prefer for things to stay that way. “I’m not hungry, but you go ahead and get yourself something.”

Jared stops him with a hand on his shoulder and looks at him with a frown. “Jen, when’s the last time you actually ate something? You threw up breakfast at the airport, you skipped lunch and dinner on the plane and now you _still_ don’t want anything? What’s up with you?”

“Nothing.”

“See, you keep saying that but I don’t believe you.”

Irritation is getting the better of Jensen. They keep talking about the same thing and Jared just can’t give it a rest. “Gimme a break, Jared,” he grunts and keeps walking toward their gate.

“Hey! Don’t walk away from me!” Jared snaps and grabs his wrist to stop him again. “I’m not done.”

“But I am,” Jensen hisses and pulls his arm free. “I’m done talking about this.”

Jensen has no idea why he’s getting so worked up. If their roles were reversed, he’d be just as worried about his best friend. However, he can’t help the annoyance that is cursing through his veins. All he wants is for Jared to drop the subject. There’s nothing wrong him with and the bug won’t magically be gone just because Jared keeps asking about it.

The rest of their journey to Rome is tense. They hardly speak and by the time they arrive at the airport in Fiumicino in the afternoon, Jensen feels kind of bad about snapping at Jared. He apologizes while they’re waiting for their luggage and, as expected, Jared apologizes too for being so pushy.

A driver is picking them up and driving them straight to their hotel. It’s about a fifteen-minute drive from the airport and a ten-minute drive from the location of the convention. The first part of the convention has already started today, but Jensen and Jared aren’t scheduled to appear until the next day.

“Rich just texted if we want to have dinner with him, Misha and Jim,” Jared says while looking at his phone. “They’re planning on going to the city.”

Jensen wants to decline. He’s exhausted and all he longs for is a bed, but he hasn’t seen Richard in a while and he’d love to catch up with him and the others. Besides, if he goes to bed now, he’ll never get used to the time zone. “Yeah, sure. Why not.”

“Awesome,” Jared grins. “We can get in a power nap before we have to leave.”

A nap sounds wonderful. After checking in, Jensen unlocks his room, strips off his clothes and faceplants onto the mattress in just his underwear. He’s asleep before his head even hits the pillow.

The authentic Italian restaurant is great. It’s cozy, nicely decorated and the food tastes amazing. Even though he wasn’t really hungry, Jensen managed to finish his seafood pasta and share a dessert with Misha.

Richard, Misha and Jim are talking about their schedules for the next day and are teasing Jensen and Jared for being lazy because they had one day off. Everyone is laughing and having a great time and Jensen feels relaxed and content.

Jared has just ordered another bottle of wine for the table when another dizzy spell hits Jensen out of nowhere. It takes him by surprise and he clutches the arms of his chair when his field of vision begins to waver and tilt. He feels like he can’t breathe.

“I’ll be right back,” he mutters and pushes his chair back. He almost stumbles over his own two feet when he gets up and someone grips his arm to keep him steady.

“Whoa, careful,” Jim grumbles. “You alright?”

“I need some air…” Jensen murmurs. He squeezes his eyes shut and presses his fingers against his closed lids. Everything is spinning.

More chairs are being pushes back and Jensen feels hands on his arms and back. Someone is cupping the back of his neck. “You’re covered in cold sweat, man,” Richard mutters in concern.

Opening his eyes, Jensen can see his friends’ concerned faces. He feels hot and cold at the same time and he’s not sure how long he’ll manage to remain upright.

Jared seems to be the first one to notice. “Let’s go outside,” he says and grabs Jensen’s arm. “We’ll be back,” he says over his shoulder as he leads him across the restaurant and out through the entrance.

They’ve barely crossed the threshold when Jensen’s stomach begins to act up again. He suddenly feels like he’s eaten way too much. “I think I’m going to be sick…” he wheezes.

“Just breathe,” Jared mutters into his ear. They’re making a beeline for a bench next to a fountain and Jared helps him sit. Crouching down in front of his best friend, Jared squeezes his knee. “You’re scaring me,” he confesses. “Something’s not right.”

Head in his hands, Jensen nods. “I know.”

There’s no way all of this is normal. He might have known that for a while now, but he just didn’t want to admit it. Now, Jensen is not only worrying his friends anymore, but also himself. “I feel like I’m going to pass out…” he admits.

“I’ll text Rich. I’m taking you to the hospital.”

A few minutes pass before there’s a flurry of activity around Jensen. The others appear, people are talking on their phones and after a while, Jensen is manhandled into the back of a cab. Misha hands him a plastic bag in case he gets sick and Jared is quietly rubbing his back.

By the time they arrive at the hospital, Jensen has thrown up dinner and has sweated through his shirt and jacket. His head is pounding, stomach cramping and everything is blurry.

Someone must have called ahead, because he’s taken to an examination room right away. Jared is a constant presence by his side and when a nurse asks him if he’d prefer for him to leave, Jensen shakes his head. He’s so woozy, he wouldn’t be able to understand half of what the people are telling him, anyway.

“This sucks,” he grumbles to Jared, as he’s lying on his back on a gurney with his legs elevated. There’s an IV in the back of his right hand and his left arm is thrown over his eyes to keep out the bright light. A nurse has already drawn some blood and the band aid in the crook of his elbow is itchy as hell.

Jared, who’s sitting in a chair next to him, pats his arm. “I know. Just relax. The doctor will be here soon.”

Too tired to argue, Jensen just tries to breathe evenly in and out. His stomach is cramping once again and he wonders what he did to deserve all of this.

There’s a knock on the door and Jensen peeks out from underneath his arm to squint at the man. It’s an elderly doctor with grey hair and a white coat.

“Signore Ackles, I’m Doctor Romano,” he introduces himself in English with an Italian accent. After greeting Jared, the man steps up to the gurney and checks the saline drip Jensen is hooked up to. “How are you feeling?”

“Dizzy, tired, nauseous…” Jensen lists. “Just generally crappy.”

The doctor chuckles and for some reason that makes Jensen feel better. The doctor wouldn’t be laughing if he was seriously ill, right?

“There is actually a very good explanation for all of it,” Doctor Romano explains. “After drawing some blood, we ran a couple of tests and found out pretty quickly why you’ve been feeling so unwell.”

Jensen quirks an eyebrow at the doctor.

“Signore Ackles, according to our tests, you are about eight to nine weeks pregnant.”

“What?!” Jensen blurts out and lurches off the gurney.

Jared is freaking out. Jensen can see it in his stiff posture and the way he repeatedly runs his fingers through his hair. He’s pale, maybe even a little green, and Jensen winces when he squeezes his eyes shut as if in pain.

“Jay—”

“Wait. Just… just give me a moment.”

Jensen nods silently and watches his best friend pace back and forth in his hotel room, as if he’s trying to wear a hole in the carpet. While Jared is pacing, Jensen is sitting on his bed. A bag with meds is on the mattress next to him, along with some brochures and a grainy sonogram picture of the baby. _Their_ baby.

They’re not stupid. They both did the math as soon as Doctor Romano told them how far along Jensen is and they both realized what that means. The baby is Jared’s.

“Fuck. Fuck!” Jared cusses loudly. “How did that happen?!”

Jensen rolls his eyes. “I’m pretty sure you know the answer to that one,” he deadpans.

“Don’t be a smartass,” Jared snaps. “Not now!”

Realizing that Jared is about to have a nervous breakdown, Jensen gets up and blocks his best friend’s path. He presses a palm flat against Jared’s chest to make him halt. “Stop.”

Jensen can feel him tremble under his hand. He’s usually pretty good at reading Jared but, right now, he’s not sure if it’s anger, fear or just nerves making him shake.

“Jared, you gotta calm down—”

“Calm down?!” Jared barks. “How am I supposed to _calm down_? I’m about to be engaged to Gen and now I find out that I’m going to have a baby with someone else? Someone I had a drunken hookup with? Tell me, Jensen, how _on earth_ am I supposed to be calm about _any_ of this?!”

The words sting more than Jensen cares to admit. Swallowing against the lump in his throat, he glares at Jared. “How do you think _I_ feel?”

Jared rubs his eyes. “I can’t do this right now.”

When Jared turns around and leaves, Jensen just lets him go. Anger and hurt is twisting his insides and when the door falls shut, he feels tears burn in his eyes. With a curse, he swipes everything off the bed and lets it clatter and flutter to the floor.

Unable to process his emotions, he flops down on the bed and buries his head in his hands. The whole situation is one big mess and he has no idea how they’ll get out of it.

It’s the middle of the night when someone knocks on his door. Jerking awake from drifting in and out of sleep for hours, Jensen throws the covers back and climbs out of bed. He knows who’s on the other side of the door before he even opens it.

“Can I come in?” Jared asks, looking disheveled but calmer.

Jensen steps aside and lets him enter.

“Rich texted. He wants to know how you’re feeling,” he begins, then shrugs. “I don’t know what to tell him…”

There’s an awkward silence between them.

“I’ll let him know that I’m fine. Just a case of food poisoning,” Jensen replies.

Jared clears his throat and takes a step forward. “I’m sorry for running out on you earlier. I’m just… I don’t know what to do.”

Jensen scrubs a hand over his face. “I don’t know, either,” he admits. “It’s turning everything upside down and I’m not just talking about my stomach,” he huffs.

Jared’s eyes flicker toward the meds and pamphlets that are strewn all over the ground. “How, uhm, how are you _really_ feeling?”

Sitting down on the arm of sofa, Jensen shrugs a shoulder. “Fine, I guess. Whatever they gave me at the hospital is still working. I don’t feel like I’m about to puke so that’s good.”

“Yeah, good. That’s good,” Jared nods and inches forward. Slowly, as if waiting for approval, he walks toward the couch and sits down as well. “If the nausea stays away, then you’ll be able to gain back the weight you’ve lost.”

Heaving out a sigh, Jensen nods. Gaining weight isn’t the only thing the doctor was worried about. Doctor Romano voiced his concerns in regard to basically his entire lifestyle; the stress of travelling all around the world, the long days on set, the physical activities… There’s barely a thing he approved of.

“What do we do next?” Jared asks quietly when the silence stretches between them.

Jensen licks his lips. “Let’s just do the convention.”

Clearly confused, Jared frowns. “You want to just forget about it?”

“For now,” Jensen clarifies. “We’ll obviously have to deal with it sooner or later.”

“Are you up for that? The doctor said you need to rest,” Jared reminds him. “He said you almost passed out because of stress and low blood sugar.”

“It’s just two days,” Jensen replies. “I’ll be fine.”

Jared nods. “Okay, but you tell me if you feel like something’s wrong…”

Jensen can’t help but smile a bit. “Yeah, sure. You’ll be the first one to know.”

“Okay,” Jared mutters and stands up again. He wipes his palms on his thighs as he walks to the door. “Let’s get some sleep, then. We have to be up in a couple of hours.”

“Yeah. Goodnight, Jared.”

“Night, Jen.”

The next days go fairly well. Jensen is popping the prescribed anti-emetics like they’re Tic Tacs to deal with the nausea and Jared is hovering like a mother hen. He seems to have overcome his initial first shock and has now made it his personal mission to make sure that Jensen always has enough water, eats enough food and gets plenty of rest. It’s almost adorable and Jensen can’t bring himself to tell him to back of a bit.

When it’s finally time to leave Rome, things between them are getting tense again. They both know that as soon as they’re back home, they need to figure out their next steps.

**_8 th April 2010_ **

Jensen is hunched over the toilet bowl when the doorbell rings. He reaches up to flush and then pushes to his feet. He quickly rinses out his mouth and then shuffles to the door. He’s still dressed in his sleep pants and a loose shirt.

Looking through the peep-hole, Jensen sees Jared standing in the hallway. With a sigh, he unlocks the door and lets it swing open.

“Hey,” Jared smiles. “I brought lunch.”

The smell of Mexican food hits Jensen and his stomach lurches. Slapping a hand to his mouth, he spins around and hurries back to the bathroom.

He’s throwing up water and bile when Jared kneels down behind him and begins to rub his back. “Jen, I’m sorry,” he apologizes. “I wasn’t thinking.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Jensen croaks. He spits into the toilet one last time before he closes the lid and flushes. “Today sucks.”

“Morning sickness?”

Jensen cringes. He hasn’t gotten used to that term yet. In fact, he hasn’t really gotten used to that whole _being pregnant_ thing.

After brushing his teeth to get rid of the nasty taste of vomit, they go to the living room. Jensen gets them both something to drink before they sit down. “Did you talk to Gen?”

“Not yet. This is hard enough as it is and the timing just hasn’t been right… I don’t want to lose her,” Jared admits and rubs the back of his neck. “But I’ve been thinking about us. And the baby,” he clarifies and his gaze flickers to Jensen’s belly. “This is just as much my responsibility as it is yours and, if you decide to keep it, I’m here for you every step of the way.”

Jensen nods slowly. He’s had a few days to think about things as well and even though everything is a mess, he knows one thing for sure; he’s going to keep the kid.

“How are we going to do this?” he asks.

Jared shrugs and purses his lips. “I don’t really know. I guess we’ll take it one day at the time? The first twelve weeks are the most important and we can take it from there once we crossed that mark.”

“We’re really doing this?” Jensen asks, suddenly feeling anxious. This isn’t going to be easy, especially with Genevieve in the picture, their relationship and their demanding jobs.

“We can do this.” The smile Jared gives him makes him feel a tiny bit calmer. At least he’s not alone in this. Maybe, everything will work out.


	5. 4th Month

**_11 th May 2010_ **

“I’m going to be sick.”

A plastic bag is shoved in Jensen’s hands and he doubles over it with a loud retch. There’s not a whole lot in his stomach to come up, but it’s enough to make him wish he’d have skipped the greasy breakfast burrito he’d craved an hour ago.

As soon as he’s done, the bag is taken out of his hands and disappears from view. “Thanks,” he grunts and wipes his mouth with a napkin.

“Don’t mention it,” Jared replies. This isn’t the first time he had to dispose of a vomit-filled bag and he hasn’t complained about it _once_.

Leaning back against the puffy cushion of Jared’s lounge chair, Jensen puts a hand on his churning stomach and closes his eyes. The doctor he went to after their trip to Italy told him that morning sickness usually goes away after the first trimester. Sadly, that doesn’t seem to be the case for him. Even though he crossed the twelve-week mark without a hitch, he’s still suffering from terrible nausea and can barely go a single day without throwing up.

When he feels a pair of eyes on him, he squints up at his best friend. Jared is standing next to him, partly blocking the sunlight that’s streaming in through the large windows of the living room. “What?” Jensen asks.

“You shouldn’t fly to New York.”

Jensen sighs. They’ve been over this.

“It’s just for the weekend. I promised Danneel I’d be there,” he reminds Jared and looks down at his belly. “I’m not even showing yet. No one’s gonna notice anything.”

Jared crosses his arms over his chest. “That’s not what I’m worried about, Jen. I’m worried about you overdoing it.”

Jensen pulls a face. “Jared, it’s a red carpet event. I’m not planning on going skydiving or bungee jumping.”

Not satisfied with that response, Jared sits down and begins to list, “There’s the event in New York. Then you have to study your lines for the first couple of episodes. There are a ton of meetings scheduled with the network which we have to attend, not to mention the fact that you’re also going to be _directing_ the first episode of season six. That means you have to invest twice as much time and energy into preparing for it. People expect you to fly out to Vancouver in a month, Jen. That’s a hell of a lot of stuff to do. In addition to that, there’s another convention coming up in Europa, of all places. And, right now, you can’t even turn over without puking!”

Jensen flinches. Maybe Jared has a point. Nevertheless, there’s not a lot Jensen can do about it. Most of these things have been scheduled months ago.

“I know it’s not ideal, but it’s my job. Other people do it, too,” he justifies and thinks about all the actors and actresses that have worked right up until their due date.

Deflating, Jared rubs at the stubble on his chin. “I get that,” he murmurs, but it’s obvious that he doesn’t really like it. “Just promise me one thing…”

“Shoot.”

“In two weeks, when we have the meeting with the executive producers, we’ll tell them about the pregnancy.”

Jensen tenses. So far, no one knows about the baby and, as naïve as it sounds, he wants it to stay that way for as long as possible. He doesn’t mind living in this bubble with Jared, where everything is fine and he can pretend all of this wasn’t just an accident. “Jay—”

“I know, I know,” Jared interrupts. “You were planning on waiting until you can’t hide the bump anymore, but that’s not going to work. Our days are crazy long and there are dozens of stunt and fight scenes. There’s no way I’ll let you do them in your condition!”

Jensen raises his eyebrows. “You won’t _let_ me?” he growls. He doesn’t mind Jared’s mother henning. He’s okay with being fussed over all the time. What he’s _not_ okay with is being treated like a child.

Jared seems to pick up on the growing tension between them and backtracks. “That’s not how I meant it. I just don’t want you to get hurt. It’s the right thing to do.”

Jensen’s angry. The rational part of his brain knows he’s being ridiculous, because Jared is absolutely right. Hell, it’s not like he _wants_ to put their baby in danger.

However, the irrational, hormonal part of him wants to throw a tantrum and yell at Jared. He’s the last one who should lecture him about doing what’s right, because Genevieve is still completely in the dark about all of this.

Blowing out a breath to calm down, Jensen nods. This isn’t worth making a scene over. “Fine.”

“Fine?”

“Yeah, fine,” he repeats. “We’ll tell them.”

He knows it’s the right thing to do. He’s fourteen weeks pregnant and it won’t be long before he’ll be unable to hide the growing baby bump. As much as he hates it, there simply are certain people that need to know about the pregnancy; the producers, the wardrobe department, the stunt team… The list goes on.

Refusing to admit to himself that he’s scared about people knowing, Jensen averts his gaze and looks out of the window.

**_17 th May 2010_ **

“Black or gold?”

Jensen looks up from his phone and squints at the two different colored handbags Danneel is holding up. While he’s already dressed in his tux, she’s still getting ready for the network event they’re invited to.

“Uhm,” he frowns. “Black?”

“I knew I dragged you along for a reason,” she grins and tosses the golden bag back in her suitcase. After throwing her phone, wallet and some makeup into the clutch she’s going to use, she clambers over the bed and grabs the unopened bottle of champagne that’s sitting on the nightstand. “Can you get two glasses? Those events aren’t fun sober.”

Jensen bites his lip. They’ve spent the last two days strolling through New York together. They talked about absolutely everything but, somehow, _one_ topic hadn’t come up.

“Actually, I’m not going to be able to drink tonight. Or any night in the coming months.”

Danneel, who’s already working on the bottle’s cork, looks over her shoulder with a disbelieving look on her face. “Why?” she groans. “Don’t tell me Hollywood’s gotten to you and you’re doing one of those fancy schmancy juice cleanses…”

Jensen scrunches up his nose. “What? No! Gross.”

Plopping down on the bed, she looks at him expectantly. “Then what is it?”

It’s now or never.

“I’m pregnant.”

She bursts out laughing. Her auburn hair falls into her face as she doubles over with shaking shoulders. “Yeah, _right_ ,” she giggles.

Jensen rolls his eyes. “Dee, I’m serious.”

Something in his tone seems to get through to her and her laughter dies down. When she looks at him, her eyes are widened almost comically. “You’re joking. Jensen, tell me you’re joking!”

To stop her from thinking he’s lying, Jensen reaches into the pocket on the inside of his suit jacket. He pulls out his wallet, opens it up and grabs the sonogram picture he keeps in there.

Danneel practically rips it out of his hand in her haste to look at it. The second she lays eyes on the grey shape, her mouth falls open. “Oh. My. God.”

Not knowing what to say, Jensen purses his lips and waits.

He doesn’t have to wait long. Before he has time to prepare himself, Danneel is almost tackling him to the ground. He grunts when she barrels into him and instinctively wraps his arms around her.

“Oh my gosh,” she shrieks in his ear. “Jen, I’m so excited for you!”

Chuckling, Jensen squeezes her back. “Thank you. Needless to say, it wasn’t planned, but I’m happy.”

Grinning from ear to ear, Danneel bends down to poke at his belly. “Hi there, little one! I can’t wait to meet you!”

With a snort, Jensen smacks her hand away playfully. “Don’t make this weird,” he chuckles.

Still sitting on his lap, she suddenly tilts her head to the side. “Wait, who’s the dad?” she blurts out and Jensen cringes. It was clear that she’d ask that question. For just a second, Jensen considers telling her a lie, but then he remembers how much they’ve been through together and how she’s one of his best friends.

“It’s Jared.”

“What?!” she gasps. “Are you fucking serious?”

He winces. “Do you really think I’d joke about this?”

“Wow, that is— _wow_ ,” she stammers. “Does he know?”

Jensen gives her a look. “ _Of course_ , he knows!”

“Gen must have been pretty mad…”

A heavy weight settles in Jensen’s gut. “He hasn’t told her yet.”

“Jensen—”

He holds up a hand to stop her. “Look, I know what you’re going to say. She deserves to know. I know. But this is Jared’s business. He wants to make sure the time is right.”

Getting off Jensen’s lap and sitting down on the edge of the mattress instead, Danneel gives him a look he can’t interpret. It makes him uncomfortable.

“Is he going to stay with her?” she asks quietly.

It’s a valid question. One that Jensen has asked himself multiple times as well. He doesn’t know why he never flat out asked Jared. He wants to say it’s because it doesn’t matter, but the truth is that he’s scared to hear the answer.

Danneel seems to sense that she’s about to open a can of worms. Reaching out, she grasps his hand and squeezes it. “Let’s go out and have some fun, what do you say? Just the three of us,” she suggests with a wink.

“Sounds like a plan,” he agrees, grateful for the distraction.

Jumping to her feet, she holds out her hands. “Come on, daddy,” she says with a smirk and laughs when he gives her the stink eye.

**_25 th May 2010_ **

Jensen is almost vibrating with nervous energy when he and Jared enter The CW headquarters in Burbank. He’s feeling like he’s about to throw up, but this time it has nothing to do with morning sickness.

“You ready to do this?” Jared asks him when they step into the elevator that takes them up to the fifth floor.

Wiping his sweaty palms on his jeans, Jensen shrugs. “Do I have a choice?”

“Nope, not really,” Jared chuckles and nudges him with his elbow. “Come on, let’s get this over with.”

After checking in at the front desk, the pretty receptionist leads them down a hallway and into one the meeting rooms. One entire length of the room is just windows and the view is spectacular. After offering them a drink, she retreats with a smile and closes the door. All alone, Jensen leans back in his chair and exhales slowly.

Picking up on the anxiety that’s rolling off of Jensen in waves, Jared reaches out and pats his best friend’s shoulder. “Relax, man. It’s going to be alright.”

Just when Jensen thinks he’s about to projectile vomit all over the expensive-looking glass table, someone knocks on the door. He and Jared both get to their feet as familiar and new faces walk into the room. Sera Gamble and Robert Singer—the showrunners and executive producers—take a seat right across from Jensen and Jared, and Jensen takes a sip of water to calm his nerves.

“Eric will join us a bit later. He’s stuck in another meeting,” Sera explains, before she dives into the boring paperwork. Everything has already been looked over and approved by their management and lawyers, so all that’s left to do is sign the papers.

While Jared is listening attentively to everything that’s being said and asked, Jensen has trouble focusing on anything. He just wants this to be over.

When he feels a pull low in his abdomen, he excuses himself from the table and heads for the closest restroom. Unsure if he’s going to vomit or not, he quickly pushes the door open and accidentally shoves it right into someone’s face. The guy stumbles back with a yelp and Jensen flinches.

As soon as the man looks up, Jensen relaxes a bit. “Eric,” he exhales. “I’m sorry, man.”

The show’s creator grins at Jensen and he rubs his nose. “No harm done. Good to see you, Ackles. It’s been a while.”

“Yeah, tell me about it. We—” Jensen falters when there’s another tug in his gut. Automatically, he puts a hand to his belly.

Eric cocks his head to the side. “You okay, man?”

Jensen lets out a nervous laugh. “Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. I’m just…” he licks his lips. In about ten minutes, he’s going to have to tell that entire room of people about it anyway. “I’m pregnant.”

Eric’s eyes widen. “You’re pregnant?!”

“Yeah. And I have to tell Sera and Bob about it and I’m kinda freaking out. It’s gonna change some things for the show,” he admits self-consciously. He’s usually not one to get awkward, but this entire pregnancy thing is throwing him off balance.

When he meets Eric’s eyes again, the man is beaming at him. “Jensen, that’s amazing! Congrats!”

“Thanks,” Jensen grunts when he’s drawn into a crushing hug.

Eric pulls back, still grinning, and claps Jensen on the back. “Let’s get back in there and make sure everything will be good to go for you and that little one when you return to set.”

Pretty sure he isn’t going to be sick, Jensen follows Eric back into the meeting room. Even though the man isn’t Supernatural’s showrunner anymore, he’s glad for the support.

In the end, things go over better than expected. Sera and Robert are a little surprised about the announcement, but they promise Jensen to accommodate the pregnancy to the best of their abilities. They’re planning a sit-down with the writers and directors, as well as the crew members in Vancouver that need to know about his condition in order to make things work on set. The only thing they don’t talk about is who the baby’s other father is. They don’t ask and Jensen and Jared aren’t going to tell them. It’s no one’s business and would only sir up rumors.

By the time they leave the building at around noon, Jensen feels lighter. A huge weight has been taken off his shoulders and he’s actually looking forward to going back to work.

As they’re walking toward Jared’s parked car, Jared speaks up, “Wanna go over to my place and hang out? Gen’s visiting her parents out of town and there’s a game on TV.”

Thinking about Genevieve puts a small damper on Jensen’s good mood, but he refuses to let it show. “Sure,” he agrees with a shrug. He doesn’t have anything else planned and Jared has a very nice and large 105” TV.

As soon as they’re sitting on the couch in Jared’s living room, Jensen’s stomach rumbles hungrily. It’s about time his appetite is making a comeback. His doctor has been bitching about his weight since the first appointment.

“What are you in the mood for? There’s an amazing Chinese place around the corner,” Jared suggests, as he tosses a bunch of menus in his lap.

Jensen rifles through the papers. He doesn’t know what he wants to eat, but the baby is telling him straight away what it _doesn’t_ want. Just thinking about Chinese food is making him feel queasy.

In the end, they decide to have burgers. Jensen ops for a normal cheeseburger—well done, as Jared reminds him—and Jared goes for a double bacon burger with fries.

When the food is delivered, they eat it right in front of the TV. Jensen is so engrossed in the game, that he doesn’t notice the sauce dripping onto his shirt until he feels something sticky on his skin.

“Great,” he grumbles and reaches for a napkin, but trying to wipe the sauce off is only making it worse.

Chuckling, Jared puts his plate down and gets up. “Hold on. Let me get you a clean shirt. Or a bib,” he teases and disappears down the hall into his room.

When Jared returns with a plain, black shirt, Jensen gets to his feet and pulls the stained shirt off. His head is still stuck in the fabric, when he hears Jared gasp. Jensen drops the dirty shirt to the ground and looks up at him with a frown. “What?”

Jared’s eyes are glued to Jensen’s middle. “Your belly…” he mutters, still staring.

Jensen follows Jared’s line of sight and looks down at himself. His stomach has definitely grown in the last couple of weeks, but he didn’t think it was _that_ noticeable. For now, he can still fit into his regular clothes.

“Can I… Can I touch it?”

Taken aback by the questions, Jensen blinks. As soon as he catches the awestricken expression on Jared’s face, he sighs in resignation. “Sure. Go ahead.”

Jared’s warm palms are on his bare skin in a heartbeat. Spreading his fingers, his large hands easily cover the little bump. “Wow, that’s incredible.” He shifts his hands a little. “Can you feel the baby move yet?”

“Not really,” Jensen says with a shake of his head.

Jared keeps touching every inch of the small swell. Jensen would never admit it out loud, but he enjoys having Jared so close. The expression of pure joy and happiness on Jared’s face are enough to make the morning sickness, the exhaustion and the general sensation of feeling crappy worth it.

The intimate moment is interrupted by the ringing of Jared’s cellphone. It’s lying on the table and Jensen glances down to see Gen’s name flash up on the screen. Like an ice-cold shower, reality catches up to him.

Pulling back a little, he nods toward the phone. “You should get that,” he mutters and quickly pulls the clean shirt over his head, effectively hiding his stomach.

Jared looks torn, but after a second of hesitation, bends down and picks up the ringing cell. He gives Jensen one last look before he answers the call, “Honey, hey. How’s San Francisco?”

And, just like that, Jensen’s bubble has burst again.


	6. Chapter 6

**_10 th June 2010_ **

Jensen doesn’t know if he wants to cry or cuss up a storm. With gritted teeth, he desperately attempts to close his favorite pair of jeans. Except, try as he might, they refuse to button up. With an angry growl, he plops down on his bed and scowls at his growing belly.

The ringing of the doorbell sours Jensen’s mood even further. Pushing back to his feet, he stalks over to the door and yanks it open. Jared immediately takes a startled step back. “Whoa, what’s going on?”

“ _This_ is going on,” Jensen snaps and tugs at the too tight waistband of his pants. “I can’t even fucking get _dressed_ anymore!”

Jared bites his lip in an attempt to not laugh and Jensen is this close to punching him in the face. Spinning on his heels, he stomps back to his bedroom.

“Jen, wait,” Jared calls and follows him quickly. “Come on, don’t get mad. We’ll just go to the store and get you some new pants. No big deal.”

Jensen doesn’t want new pants. He wants _these_ pants to fit him! When he tells Jared exactly that, he knows he sounds unreasonable, but he can’t help it. They’re supposed to leave for the airport in about thirty minutes and he doesn’t even have a pair of jeans to wear.

“Jensen, listen to me,” Jared says calmly and forces him to meet his eyes. “Just find some sweats that fit and put them on. We’ll go shopping in Spain and find you some comfy maternity clothes.”

 _Maternity clothes_. Jensen wrinkles his nose.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Jared huffs. “Your belly will only get bigger and there’s no way you’ll be able to wear your usual clothes for much longer.”

Obviously, Jensen knows all of that. That doesn’t mean he has to like it. Hiding the growing bump is getting more difficult each day and the fact that it’s soon going to be obvious to everyone is freaking him out.

“Whatever…” he mutters and pushes past his best friend. He glares at his suitcase as he passes it, now convinced that half the clothes he’s packed won’t even fit him.

After rummaging through his closet, he eventually finds a pair of sweatpants he hasn’t worn in a while. They used to be too big on him, but they fit perfectly when he tries them on now. Somehow, that makes him feel weirdly self-conscious.

The flight from Los Angeles to Barcelona passes uneventfully. Jensen dozes off pretty much right away and he spends most of the trip passed out in his seat. Now that he’s not nauseous anymore 24/7, he’s more aware of the overwhelming and constant tiredness. It doesn’t take much for him to nod off, not even in the middle of the day.

When he, Jared, Misha, Jim and Samantha Ferris arrive in Barcelona in the afternoon, the others decide to head straight to the hotel to unpack and relax. Jensen would prefer to stretch out on a fluffy bed as well—even though he just took the longest nap ever—but he knows that his wardrobe issue needs to be fixed first.

After handing over their luggage to their friends, Jensen and Jared take a cab into the city. They’re both wearing sunglasses and caps as they walk into a boutique that’s specialized in maternity clothing.

While Jared is picking out clothes he thinks would fit, Jensen can’t help but feel paranoid. He doesn’t want anyone to see and recognize them. The thought of having a picture of him shopping maternity pants pop up somewhere online is giving him anxiety.

“What about this one?” Jared asks, holding up a green shirt with white stripes. Jensen takes one look at the ugly thing and snatches it out of Jared’s hands.

“I’m not wearing that,” he huffs and turns to actually look at the outfits Jared has picked out. He goes through the pile and realizes pretty quickly that their idea of fashion is fundamentally different. An hour of arguing back and forth later, they’ve picked out three pair of pants, four shirts and a sweater.

Back at the hotel, they check in, get changed and meet the others for dinner. By the time they sit down at the table, some appetizers are already being served. Samantha winks at Jensen as she piles a bit of everything onto his plate. “Gonna make sure that little one of yours is getting enough to eat,” she grins.

Jensen chuckles. Hiding his pregnancy from fans and the media is one thing, but hiding it from his castmates, his _friends_ , is something else entirely. Besides, they would have taken one look at him and figured it out. Jim, who’s usually a little grouchy and grumpy, seems especially thrilled about the prospect of having a baby on set.

The only thing they’re still in the dark about is the baby’s father. They must have realized that there were special circumstances, because no one has asked about it yet, which suits Jensen just fine.

They all have to get up early the next day. Right after breakfast, everyone is shepherded into a large SUV and driven to the venue of the convention. Fans are screaming their names when they pull up and Jensen suddenly gets nervous. Their fans are like hawks. They see absolutely _everything_.

Jared, who seems to be able to read his thoughts, leans over and smiles. “No one will notice, Jen,” he promises. “You look good.”

Jensen returns the smile tentatively and looks down at himself. As much as he hates them, the maternity pants are extremely comfortable, and the black shirt plus wide overshirt he’s wearing are hiding his expanding middle perfectly. Worst case, the fans will think he’s gained a bit of _hiatus weight_.

Their schedule for Saturday is pretty tight; panels, autographs, meet and greets… They barely have time to catch their breath in between. Thankfully, there are no photo ops, which means Jensen doesn’t have to worry about someone accidentally touching his stomach and realizing that there’s a suspicious bump.

Throughout the busy day, whenever they see each other, Jared is hovering near Jensen to make sure he’s all right. As much as Jensen appreciates the worry, it’s also a tiny bit suffocating. He would never say that to Jared’s face, though.

It’s late afternoon when weariness starts to set in. There’s one last panel planned for the day and, as much as he enjoys interacting with the fans, Jensen is ready to head back to the hotel and get off his feet. His back has started to ache about two hours ago and he has a slight headache.

Five minutes before they’re supposed to be on stage, Jensen feels a dull cramp in his abdomen. He’s been having them for a few weeks now and his doctor told him that they’re completely normal. With a sigh, he gets off the couch he’s been sitting on in the greenroom and walks down the short hallway to the restrooms.

As soon as he pulls down his pants, he notices that something isn’t right. When he looks down, his heart skips a beat.

Blood. There’s _blood_.

For a few seconds, he’s just staring at the stains. There’s not a lot of it, but it’s definitely more than he feels comfortable with. With his heart in his throat, he fumbles with the phone in his pocket and dials Jared’s number.

After just one ring, his best friend picks up, _“Hey, where are you? We’re about to—”_

“I’m bleeding.”

For the second time in just two short months, Jensen finds himself in a hospital in a different country. Like in Italy, Jared is sitting next to him with a worried expression on his face. Neither one of them is saying much while they wait for the doctor on call to come see them.

After Jensen called Jared from the bathroom, Jared instantly made the decision to cancel the last panel of the day. Jensen hates to disappoint his fans, but there was no way he could have done the hourlong Q&A. He doesn’t know exactly what information the crowd was given, but Misha mentioned something about his timeline and notifications on Twitter blowing up.

A petite doctor enters the room a couple of minutes later. With a kind smile, she introduces herself as Doctor Garcia.

“We ran some tests and everything is looking good. Your blood pressure, heartrate and oxygen levels are all in acceptable ranges,” she says right away and Jensen’s shoulders slump in relief. “Some spotting is completely normal during pregnancy but, just to be on the safe side, I would like to perform an ultrasound. I completely understand that it’s worrying you.”

Jensen nods and Doctor Garcia asks him to lie down on the gurney in the corner of the room. Doing as he’s told, Jensen gets up there and lifts his shirt. He folds down the elastic waistband of his new jeans and waits for the cold gel he knows is coming next.

While the doctor is preparing everything, Jared comes closer and puts a supportive hand on Jensen’s shoulder.

“Alright, let’s take a look,” Doctor Garcia says and she begins to move the ultrasound wand back and forth over Jensen’s naked belly. For the first two minutes, there’s not much to see, but then the doctor pushes some buttons on the machine and a cleared picture shows up on the screen. “Here we go.”

The moment his baby comes into view, Jensen chokes up. He can see the body, the head, two arms and two legs. He smiles.

“Your bebé is just fine,” Doctor Garcia says, smiling. “Do you know what you’re having?”

Jensen clears his throat so he’s able to speak past the lump of emotions. “Not yet,” he replies.

She smirks. “I can see the gender pretty clearly right now. Would you like to know?”

Jensen’s eyes jump back to the screen. Knowing if their baby is going to be a boy or a girl makes things even more real. All of a sudden, he’s not sure anymore if he’s ready for the responsibility. Unsure, he looks up at Jared.

“I’d like to know,” Jared answers the unasked question quietly and bites his lip.

Jensen takes a breath and looks at the doctor. “We’d like to know.”

Doctor Garcia gives them a bright smile. “Congratulations, you are having a girl!”

It’s too late to go out for dinner when they return from the hospital. Their friends have waited up for them and the group’s relief is palpable when they learn that the baby is fine.

After grabbing a bite to eat at the bar in the hotel lobby, Jensen and Jared head upstairs to their respective rooms. It’s been a long day and they both need to get some sleep.

Once Jensen has brushed his teeth, changed into a comfortable pair of cotton shorts and has turned off the lights, he slips into bed. As soon as his head hits the pillow, he lets out a content sigh. All of the tension leaves his body and he becomes one with the soft mattress.

He’s mostly asleep already when he feels something he’s never felt before. Sucking in a startled breath, his eyes pop open and he brushes a hand over his belly. Holding his breath, he waits. A few seconds later, it happens again.

Afraid to move even an inch in case it would make the weird, fluttery sensation in his stomach stop, he just lies there, staring at the ceiling, and waits for more of the fluttering. He’s never felt anything like it before. It feels like tiny bubbles that are tickling the inside of his belly.

A wide grin splits his face when the feeling continues. Slowly, he grabs his phone from the nightstand. He doesn’t know if Jared’s even still awake as he types the message, _I just felt her move for the first time._

Jared doesn’t reply, but there’s a knock on the door not even two minutes later. Even before he gets out of bed to check, Jensen knows who’s waiting in the hallway.

Jared is standing on the other side of the door with bare feet and his hair sticking up in odd directions. He looks like he’s just rolled out of bed, which he probably did. “She moved?” he grins.

Amused about the expression of pure happiness, Jensen smiles. He waves his best friend inside and closes the door again. He walks back over to the bed and sits down. “It’s a really weird feeling,” he says, not sure how to explain it. Obviously, he’s known before that there’s s baby in his belly, but this just makes it feel more real.

Jared sits down next to him, their thighs touching. Slowly, he reaches out and puts his large palm on Jensen’s stomach. “I can’t wait to feel her too,” he murmurs.

Jensen smiles back and places his hand on top of Jared’s. Their eyes meet and for a moment, they just look at each other. Jensen blinks, mesmerized by the color of the hazel eyes, and before he’s aware of what’s happening, Jared’s lips are touching his.

Startled, Jensen tries to pull back, but Jared wraps an arm around his waist and keeps him in place. His resolve crumbling, Jensen sinks into the hold and deepens the kiss. A tingly feeling starts in the tip of his toes and sets all his nerve endings on fire in the best way possible. Curling his fingers in the material of Jared’s shirt, he tugs him closer.

Jared’s hands are already wandering over the bare skin of Jensen’s back, when Jensen feels the baby move again. Suddenly, he remembers that the situation they’re in is complicated enough. They’re in this mess in the first place because they hadn’t been able to keep their hands to themselves. The absolute last thing they need is to make a habit out of it.

With an unsteady breath, Jensen pushes Jared back. “We can’t.”

Jared’s pupils are blown wide as he stares at Jensen. “Why?”

“You _know_ why,” Jensen croaks and gets up, putting some space between them.

“Is this about Gen?”

Jensen grits his teeth. “Of course, it’s about Gen! Hell, a few weeks ago you talked about marrying her!”

Getting to his feet as well, Jared moves into Jensen’s personal space. “Maybe my plans have changed…”

Irritation is starting to replace the _want_ and _lust_ he’s felt before and Jensen narrows his eyes. “Don’t,” he hisses and takes another step back. “Gen still doesn’t know anything about our daughter and don’t give me that bullshit about wanting to wait for the right moment. Because, guess what, Jared, there’s _never_ going to be a right moment to tell your girlfriend you cheated on her and knocked up someone else!”

Jared’s eyes flash with hurt and anger. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You need to make a decision. A finale one.”

Jared’s glaring at him. “It’s not that easy.”

Jensen swallows. “You can’t have everything.”

They’re both silent. Tension is heavy in the room and the only audible sound is their breathing. Jensen feels emotionally rubbed raw and exhaustion is weighing on him like a heavy blanket. He’s too tired for this.

“You should go,” he says quietly and looks away.

Without another word, Jared turns around and leaves.

They don’t really talk for the rest of the convention. For the most part, when they’re not on stage together, they just ignore each other. Obviously, their friends pick up on the strange tension between them, but no one is commenting on it.

As expected, the fans are worried about Jensen. Somehow, the rumor was born that he had a bad case of food poisoning the day before. Deciding to just go with it, Jensen doesn’t deny it when someone in the audience brings it up.

Right after the convention, Jensen heads to the airport. While the others are flying back to Los Angeles, he’s traveling straight to Vancouver to prepare for the first episode of the season. He usually doesn’t enjoy flying by himself, but it might actually be a good thing. Some space and time to himself is going to be good for him, and also for Jared. After, they’ll need to figure out how to move forward.


	7. 6th Month

**_2 nd July 2010_ **

“Ackles, where do you want camera B?

“Is the light too harsh?”

“We need to make some changes to the script, Jensen.”

“There’s a burst water pipe in the basement. Do you have a backup location?”

“The truck with the props is stuck in traffic. What do we do?”

“Jensen, your belly is visible in the shot again.”

Jensen’s head is spinning when he’s dropped off at his apartment after their first official week of shooting. He’s been up in Vancouver for almost three weeks, just planning and mapping out the fourth episode of the season, which they’re shooting first to give him some more time to prepare everything. Since it’s his first time directing, there’s a lot to learn and watch out for.

If he’s being completely honest, he has to admit that he underestimated the strain of doing both; directing and acting. On their own, both jobs are equally time consuming and taxing, but when you put them together and add a pregnancy, it’s _really_ exhausting.

It’s not even eight o’clock yet, but Jensen bypasses the kitchen, and therefore dinner, and heads straight for his bedroom. There are some things he should look at before going to sleep, but he can barely stand upright anymore. After stripping off his clothes, he quickly brushes his teeth, shuts off all the lights and crawls into bed. He’s asleep within minutes.

When he wakes up on Saturday morning, it’s almost noon. Sunlight is streaming through the partly closed blinds and it looks like it’s a beautiful day outside. Not that he has time to enjoy it.

With a groan, he rolls out of bed and just sits on the edge of the mattress for a few minutes. He rubs a hand over his belly and sighs. He’s halfway through his pregnancy already and his daughter seems to double in size almost daily. Hiding the baby bump is impossible, which prompted him to tell all cast and crew members. The network made everyone sign an NDA, which Jensen still thinks is a bit over the top.

He’s also told his family about the baby and Jared’s involvement in creating her. At first, his parents had been shocked and unsure how to react to the news, but as soon as Jensen showed them the sonogram pictures of their granddaughter, they were the little girl’s biggest fans.

His stomach rumbles loudly and he’s reminded of the meal he skipped yesterday. Looking down, he gives his belly a gentle pat. “You’re hungry, I get it,” he murmurs with a soft smile.

After eating a ready-to-eat egg and cheese sandwich he heated up in the microwave, he sits down on the couch with his laptop and goes over the filming schedule for next week. Usually, he spends the weekends either flying back to LA or hanging out with Jared in Vancouver. However, things between him and Jared are still strained. They haven’t really spoken since Spain and, even though neither one of them has said anything, they both know they’re avoiding each other.

Jensen knows they need to talk. Not only because they work together and thus see each other almost on a daily basis, but mainly because, in a few short months, they’re going to be parents to a baby girl. Right now, however, Jensen neither has the time nor the energy to discuss any of this with Jared.

With a weary sigh, he tries to ignore the dull headache and continues to work.

**_19 th July 2010_ **

Jared’s twenty-eighth birthday is on a Monday. They’re in the midst of shooting the season opener, which is really emotional for Dean, which means it’s pretty emotional for Jensen as well.

When someone comes up with the idea of doing a surprise birthday party for Jared on Monday night, Jensen cringes. Not only because he wouldn’t feel comfortable being there while they’re barely talking, but also because he hasn’t really been sleeping all that well lately. It’s difficult for him to find a comfortable position that doesn’t make his back ache and the baby keeps kicking during the night. In short, he’s constantly exhausted and uncomfortable.

In the end, despite not wanting to go, Jensen finds himself in a bar on said Monday. They’ve had a long day on set and the later it gets, the more he struggles to keep his eyes open. His lower back is aching, his head is pounding and his daughter is seemingly doing somersaults in his belly. The music in the bar is loud and Jensen isn’t sure if the smell of beer makes him feel nauseated or just envious because he can’t have any.

It’s about two in the morning when Jensen says goodbye to everyone. Clif offers to drive him back to his apartment, but Jensen declines. Everyone is having a great time since the booze is flowing freely and he can easily take a cab for the short way home.

As he pushes past the dancing, singing and drinking people, he can’t help but chuckle. Tomorrow is going to be a _nightmare_ for all the poor, hungover individuals. At least that’s something he doesn’t have to worry about.

It’s still warm outside and Jensen takes a deep breath of fresh air. He’s just about to step up to one of the waiting cabs and climb in, when something off to the side catches his attention. Looking over, Jensen is surprised to find Jared leaning up against a brick wall with his head tilted back. Because the street light he’s standing under is busted, Jared is mostly standing in the dark, but Jensen would recognize that tall, muscular frame everywhere.

Chewing on his lip, Jensen glances between the cab and his friend. With a sigh, he turns away from the curb and heads over to Jared.

“Jay, what are you doing out here?”

Jared startles. His eye fly open and he wavers, almost losing his balance.

“Whoa,” Jensen gasps and leaps forward to grab one of Jared’s flailing arms. As soon as he’s close enough, he can smell beer and Whiskey on Jared’s breath.

“Wha’?” Jared slurs, clearly confused. He’s swaying unsteadily on his feet and his glazed over eyes have a hard time focusing on Jensen. He’s beyond drunk.

Jensen sighs and tries to haul Jared back to the bar. Despite their strained relationship, there’s no way he’s going to just let Jared roam the streets all by himself in the drunken state he’s in. “C’mon on, let’s get you back inside.”

“No,” Jared murmurs and fights to free himself from Jensen’s grasp.

“You can’t stay out here by yourself,” Jensen tries to reason with him, but it’s a losing battle. Jared is so wasted, he probably doesn’t even know who’s with him right now.

“I wanna go home, Jen…”

Huh. Maybe he _does_ know.

Jensen is really tempted to call Clif out here and tell him to drive Jared home, but he doesn’t do that. Instead, he hooks an arm under Jared’s and leads him over to a parked cab. After manhandling Jared’s long limbs into the backseat of the car, Jensen climbs in after him and gives the driver his address.

While Jared is slumped against him with his eyes closed, Jensen sends a quick text to a few people, letting them know that he took Jared home.

Looking down at the snoring and drooling mess on his shoulder, he wonders what he’s going to do next.

Getting Jared out of the cab, into the elevator and down the hallway to his apartment proves to be more difficult than expected. By the time Jensen has him deposited on the couch in his living room, he’s sweaty and his lower back is spasming in pain. Blowing out a weary breath, he crouches down in front of Jared and unties his boots.

He’s just tossed the shoes aside when Jared stirs with a low moan. “I don’ feel good…” he groans and Jensen sees him turn a sickly shade of grey.

Without thinking, Jensen grabs the next best thing within reach, which happens to be a really ugly fruit bowl that was gifted to him by his brother as a joke, and shoves it under his friend’s chin, and not a second too soon. Jensen tries not to gag in sympathy as Jared throws up noisily.

When Jared’s done vomiting, Jensen gets back to his feet and dumps the contents of the bowl in the toilet. After washing his hands, he heads back to Jared, who’s passed out on his back. It looks like he’s attempted to take off his pants, but fell asleep before completing the task.

Sighing wearily, Jensen pulls down Jared’s jeans and somehow manages to yank of his shirt as well. He then rolls Jared on his side, stuffs a couple of pillows behind his back to make sure he stays on his side and leaves the room.

Back aching and stomach feeling tight, he quickly changes into a pair of light cotton pants and gets in bed. He’s exhausted and even though his body tells him to go to sleep, his mind keeps churning. He tosses and turns for half an hour before he falls into an uneasy sleep.

It’s still dark when Jensen wakes up again. Rolling over, he checks the clock on his nightstand and realizes that it’s not even six o’clock yet. But he’s uncomfortably hot and there’s an annoying pressure in his bladder that demands his immediate attention.

After taking care of business, Jensen silently tiptoes into the living room to check on Jared. He’s still passed out in the same position Jensen left him in.

Quietly, Jensen walks to the kitchen to pour himself a glass of water. Summers in Vancouver tend to be hot and humid and more often than not, Jensen wakes up drenched in sweat in the middle of the night. He also can’t seem to get comfortable anymore due to his growing baby bump.

Jensen is sipping his water, lost in thoughts, when he hears a noise behind him. Startled, he whirls around and spills half of the water on the floor. “Jesus Christ,” he curses when he sees Jared slumped against the doorframe. “You scared the shit out of me.”

“Sorry,” Jared croaks and rubs the back of his neck. He seems to have sobered up quite a bit, but he still looks like hell. His hair is disheveled, he looks pale and drawn and there are huge bags underneath his eyes. Maybe he’s even lost some weight. Jensen frowns. How come he hadn’t noticed that before?

“Do you, uhm, do you want some water? Aspirin, maybe?” Jensen offers to stop himself from looking up and down Jared’s naked body.

“Yeah, please,” Jared murmurs and takes a couple of shuffling steps into the kitchen to take a seat at the counter. While Jensen fills another glass with water and digs through a cabinet in the kitchen, he can feel Jared’s eyes on him. He tries to ignore it.

Just as he’s sliding the glass and the Aspirin over the counter, he feels a strong kick low in his belly. He gasps and presses a hand over the spot.

Jared’s head snaps up. “Are you alright?”

Jensen chuckles. “Yeah, she’s just kicking.”

Jared’s gaze flickers down to Jensen’s stomach. “Is she keeping you up?”

“Sometimes,” Jensen shrugs. “Right now, it’s mainly the heat. And the fact that I can’t get comfortable…”

Licking his lips, Jared carefully looks back up at Jensen. “I could get you one of those pregnancy pillows. The U-shaped ones. I heard they’re really good.”

“Jared—”

“I’m sorry. About everything.”

The words come as a surprise and Jensen swallows. He doesn’t want to have this conversation now. Not when they’re both barely clothed, tired and, in Jared’s case, probably still a little drunk. He wants to say as much, but Jared keeps talking.

“You were right. I should have told Gen as soon as we found out about the baby. Hell, I should have told her that we hooked up _before_ we found out you are pregnant. She deserved better. _You_ deserved better.”

Jensen scrubs a hand down his face. “Jared, listen—”

“Please, let me finish,” he interrupts. “Please.”

There’s something in Jared’s voice, something that tugs at Jensen’s heart and makes him unable to deny him anything.

“Gen and I broke up.”

Jensen blinks in disbelief. His mouth opens and closes, but nothing comes out.

Jared sighs and rubs at his eyes. “She was pretty mad when I broke up with her, but not as mad as when she found about the baby…”

The more Jared says, the more confused Jensen gets. Shaking his head, he holds up a hand to make Jared stop talking. “Wait. _You_ broke up with _her_? What happened to not wanting to lose her?”

Jared laughs dryly and looks down at where his hands are wrapped around the glass of water. “I think I’ve been lying to myself for a while now. Gen, she was _safe_ , you know. No one bats an eye when you walk down the street with a beautiful woman. It was easier with her.”

“Easier than what?”

Jared looks up and his hazel eyes meet Jensen’s. “Easier than being with the person I really want to be with.”

“Jared…”

“You deserve so much better than me, Jen, _so much_. But I want to be part of our daughter’s life.”

Jensen swallows past the lump in the back of his throat. “You know I was never going to take her away from you.”

“I know that, but I want to be part of _your_ life too, as more than just our daughter’s _other dad_.”

“What are you saying?”

Jared gets to his feet and walks around the counter, his eyes never leaving Jensen’s. “I love you. God, I’ve loved you since the first time I saw you.”

Feeling his knees go weak, Jensen grabs the counter to keep himself upright. He wants to shove past Jared and run away, but he’s frozen in place. The sincerity in Jared’s voice and the expression on his face is making his heart thump wildly and their baby seems to sense her father’s emotional tumult, because she starts squirming and kicking like a little kickboxer.

“I understand if this is too soon for you,” Jared says quietly. “I just want you to know.”

Before Jensen can make a rational decision, his heart decides for him. Demanding his body to _move_ , he lunges forward and yanks Jared closer. Their lips crash together and Jared throws out an arm to keep them both on their feet.

“I love you, too.”

Jensen wakes up at eight o’clock, when his alarm goes off. Clif will be here in forty-five minutes to pick him up.

Glancing over his shoulder, he sees Jared molded against his back with his arm thrown over Jensen’s waist. His hand is shoved underneath the shirt Jensen is wearing and his large palm is splayed protectively over his belly.

Jensen smiles. He hasn’t slept this well in weeks.

**_25 th July 2010_ **

“Jen, have you seen the plaid shirt I packed?”

Spitting out the foamy toothpaste in his mouth, Jensen shuts off the water in the sink and pokes his head out of the bathroom. “What?”

“My plaid shirt. Do you know where it is?” Jared repeats, while digging through his bag.

“Check my suitcase. Maybe you threw it in there?” he suggests and ducks back into the bathroom to put some gel in his hair.

He hears the sound of his suitcase getting unzipped and smiles. The last week has truly been awesome. Jared and he had spent every minute together and in between shooting and learning lines, Jared had repeated everything he’s read about babies and pregnancy to Jensen. The fact that he’s read more book than Jensen in the last couple of months—and therefore knows much more about basically everything—is really touching.

Jensen has just put on some aftershave, when a pair of long arms are wrapped around him from behind. He grins when Jared buries his face in the crook his Jensen’s neck. “Found the shirt,” he mutters.

“I can see that,” Jensen chuckles. “It’s a nice shirt.”

Jared mutters something inaudible as he begins to nibble on the skin of Jensen’s throat. Goosebumps appears all over Jensen’s body and he shivers.

“Jay, we don’t have time for that…” he murmurs, torn between pushing him away and tearing all clothes off his body.

“Then we _make_ time,” Jared murmurs. He’s sliding his hands underneath Jensen’s shirt and cups his belly. “She awake?”

Putting his hands over Jared’s, Jensen shakes his head. “Not right now, and I want her to stay that way for our panel, so do _not_ wake her up! The last thing I want is for her to punch my bladder while we’re on stage,” he warns and slaps at Jared’s wrist when he begins to poke his stomach.

That’s when Jared suddenly grows serious. “About the panel… I’ve been thinking.”

Narrowing his eyes, Jensen twists around in Jared’s embrace so they’re facing each other. “Uh-oh, that doesn’t sound good.”

Jared rolls his eyes. “Very funny.”

Grinning, Jensen shrugs. “I’m a funny guy. Now, tell me. What’s up?”

“You’re six months pregnant now. We’ve told our families, our friends and our coworkers. Maybe it’s time for the fans to know as well. I don’t want you to get offended, Jen, but it’s kinda hard not to see your belly…”

Jared’s right and Jensen’s aware of that, but he doesn’t know if he’s quite ready to tell the public.

Jared gently runs his knuckles over the side of Jensen’s belly. “I didn’t want to tell you any of this, but Misha has come up to me with some _really_ weird posts he’s found on social media. People are already speculating and starting rumors. So, maybe it’s time to just come clean.”

Sighing, Jensen looks down at himself. When they’re shooting outside, the crew always pays attention to make sure he’s hidden from view, because there often are fans taking pictures of them from afar. He’s also avoided going out for a few weeks now, which means he’s mostly just hiding in his or Jared’s apartment. Maybe it’s really time to put an end to that.

“Okay. Let’s do it.”

Jared looks surprised, as if he expected Jensen to put up a fight. “Are you sure? Just like that?”

“Yeah,” Jensen nods. “I want to be able to go out, buy baby stuff and have dinner with friends. I think I’m ready for everyone to know about the baby. And about us.”

At first Jared seems genuinely shocked, but then he begins to smile and gives Jensen a kiss. “That’s awesome! And I kinda already thought about a way to announce the pregnancy,” he grins.

Raising his eyebrows, Jensen puts his hands on Jared’s chest. “You’ve really prepared for this already, haven’t you?”

“Kinda, yeah,” Jared admits with a cute blush. “Remember that picture I took of your belly yesterday? The one where you’re lying on your back?” he begins and proceeds to explain exactly what he’s got in mind.

Fifteen minutes later, they’re both sitting on the bed in their hotel room. Jensen’s finger is hovering over the _post_ button and he feels extremely nervous. “Ready?”

Jared nods and wraps an arm around him. “Ready.”

Taking a deep breath, Jensen presses _post_.

When they walk out on stage at Comic-Con two hours later, the fans and media are going absolutely crazy. They’ve never received more well-wishes, yells, claps and whistling before in their lives. The fans are completely freaking out and all everyone is talking about is the adorable picture on Facebook of Jensen’s growing belly, with the tiny, pink cowboy hat perched on top of it.


	8. 7th Month

**_13 th August 2010_ **

“What the hell is that?”

Jared glances over his shoulder and furrows his eyebrows. “A pillow?”

“I can see it’s a freaking _pillow_!” Jensen growls as he glowers at the U-shaped cushion. “I want to know what it’s doing in your bed!”

With a sigh, Jared abandons the freshly washed and ironed shirts he was about to put away and walks over to the end of the bed, where Jensen is standing with his arms crossed over his chest. “Most pregnant people use it to sleep,” he explains nonchalantly. “It’s supposed to be comfy.”

Still staring at the monstrosity that takes up most of the space on his side of the bed, Jensen grunts, “I don’t want it.”

“Jen—”

“No,” he interrupts. “That’s ridiculous. I don’t need it!”

Jared huffs out a breath. “Are we seriously having this conversation right now? Just last night, you kept tossing and turning and this morning I had to listen to you bitch about not being able to sleep!”

“That’s not true,” Jensen protests weakly, even though he knows every single word Jared just said is 100% correct. Truth be told, finding a comfortable sleeping position has gotten next to impossible. His growing belly keeps getting in the way and it doesn’t matter on which side he lies on, something always aches.

Putting an end to the discussion, Jared takes a step closer and wraps his arms around Jensen. “Just give it a try. If you don’t like it by the end of next week, I’ll get rid of it again, deal?”

Slumping against Jared’s chest, Jensen gives in. “Fine,” he agrees.

Only three days later, Jensen would sell one of his organs just to keep the pregnancy pillow in their bed. He still doesn’t sleep _great_ , but it’s a huge improvement from before.

By the end of the trial period, _Jared_ is the one who wants to get rid of the cushion. While Jensen loves it, it’s like a wall between them during the night. Every attempt at cuddling is blocked by the cushion, which is beyond frustrating to Jared. Jensen, wildly amused, likes to remind his boyfriend that _he_ is the one who bought the thing in the first place.

**_24 th August 2010_ **

Jensen can feel Jared’s disapproving look from across the room. Deciding to ignore it and pretend like he doesn’t notice anything, he continues to allow Sarah to paint a large bruise on the left side of his face. The clothes he’s wearing are already torn and stained and he can feel the fake blood sticking to his skin.

“All done,” Sarah says and takes a step back. She tilts his head to the side and admires her work with a smile. Putting away her makeup brush and palette, she announces to the director that Jensen is ready for the first take.

He’s already getting in position opposite a tall actor, when Jared suddenly appears next to him. “You don’t need to do this, Jen,” he says quietly.

Sighing, Jensen turns to meet Jared’s anxious gaze. They’ve been having this exact discussion since they received the script two weeks prior. Admittedly, doing a fight scene while almost thirty weeks pregnant probably isn’t the best idea, but Jensen, the stunt coordinator and the director worked something out that was both safe and looked good for the cameras. Jensen even cleared things with his doctor beforehand. Apparently, that still isn’t enough for Jared.

“If you fall or fail to duck or—”

“Jared. I’ve been doing stunt fighting for _years_ ,” Jensen tells him with an impatient huff. “I let you come to set on your day off because you _promised_ me you would just sit quietly in your chair and keep your mouth shut.”

There was an unmistakable pout on Jared’s lips and Jensen was torn between being annoyed and finding it extremely endearing. “I’m just worried.”

Jensen softens a little. “I know you are, but there’s nothing to worry about, okay?” He gives Jared a gentle push. “Now be a good boy and sit your ass down behind the camera so the grown-ups can work.”

“So bossy,” Jared mutters under his breath as he walks away, back to his cast chair, which had been put up just for him.

“I heard that. I can still kick you off set!” Jensen shouts after him.

Jared snorts. “Nope, you can’t. I work her, too.”

“Not today you don’t,” Jensen reminds him, just as the director begins to yell for everyone to get in position.

Five takes later, sweat is running down the side of Jensen’s face. As fun as it is to shoot an action filled scene like this one, he has to admit that he underestimated the strain it takes on his pregnant body. He’ll probably be sore as hell tomorrow, but it’s worth it. He hasn’t felt this active and energetic in weeks, if not months.

Gulping down some water to quench his thirst, he heads over to where Jared is sitting while the cameras are being repositioned for another angle.

He’s only a few steps away from his chair, when his daughter kicks him in the ribs. _Hard_.

Sucking in a surprised breath, he chokes on the water in his mouth and begins to cough uncontrollably. Doubling over, he can’t help put spit out whatever liquid he has in his mouth.

“Jen!” he hears Jared’s concerned voice a second before his boyfriend large hand is patting him on the back. “What’s wrong?”

Unable to answer, Jensen just shakes his head. Even though his own eyes are tearing up, he can sense everyone’s gaze on him. If he weren’t beet read from coughing already, he’d probably turn a deep shade of red due to embarrassment.

To add insult to injury, their little girl keeps up her boxing exercise and Jensen’s pretty sure she’s close to breaking one of his ribs. “Fuck,” he croaks, while Jared quickly guides him off the sound stage and toward his trailer.

By the time they arrive, Jensen has mostly stopped coughing and he’s got his breath back. Plopping down on the couch, he tilts his head back and closes his eyes. “Well, that was _fun_ ,” he grunts sarcastically.

Sitting down next to him, Jared rubs his shoulder. “You okay?”

Putting a hand on the side of his stomach, Jensen nods. “Yeah. God, who would have thought that such tiny feet could be so strong!”

Chuckling, Jared rolls up Jensen’s shirt and scoots down until he’s on eyelevel with their daughter. Framing the round belly with his hands, he gives it a gentle squeeze and says lovingly, “Listen up, missy. You can’t keep kicking your daddy like that, alright?” He leans forward and kisses Jensen’s stomach. “How about we make a deal? _You_ stop pummeling his insides and _I_ will convince him to stop eating that disgusting vegan bacon he likes so much?”

Jensen snorts when their little girl kicks softly against Jared’s palm as if she’s agreeing. She’s still moving around, but much gentler and more subdued.

“That’s my girl,” Jared says and looks up with a winning grin.

“You’re a dork,” Jensen chuckles.

Jared pushes himself upright and gives Jensen a quick kiss. “Yeah, but I’m _your_ dork.”

Four hours later, they’re on their way home. Jensen is dozing while Jared keeps talking with Clif about last night’s football game.

They’re about to get off the highway, when Clif asks where he should drop them off; Jared’s house or Jensen’s apartment. They’ve been alternating between spending time at both their places.

“I need to grab my vitamins from my place,” Jensen says around a yawn.

“And I need to let the dogs out,” Jared adds. “How about we make a pitstop at your place and then head over to mine?”

Even though it’s a detour, Jensen agrees. He’s exhausted, but he needs the prenatal vitamins his doctor has prescribed. He’s already skipped them once this week.

“You guys should just move in together. Would safe us all a lot of time,” Clif sighs. It’s meant to be a joke, but he’s probably right. It’s not the worst idea. Especially with Jensen’s rapidly approaching due date.

Later, when they’re both in bed, Jensen brings the moving in together up again, “Maybe Clif is right. Maybe we should get a place together.”

Jared, who’s spooning him from behind, begins to laugh. “You willingly want to live with me? What about my dirty socks in the bathtub and my sweaty gym clothes all over the floor?”

Wrinkling his nose, Jensen playfully slaps Jared’s arm that’s lying around his waist. “You keep doing that shit and I’ll burn them,” he threatens. Then he grows more serious again. “So, what do you say?”

“I’d love to permanently live with you,” Jared agrees and kisses Jensen’s shoulder. “You could move in with me. This house is more than big enough for us, the baby and the dogs.”

Jensen rolls over so he’s facing his boyfriend. “I’m not just talking about moving in together while we’re shooting up in Vancouver.”

“You wanna get a place in LA as well?” Jared asks.

Jensen sighs. “I don’t know.”

Confused, Jared tilts his head. “What do you mean? You don’t know if you want to move in with me in LA?”

“I don’t know if I want to raise our daughter in LA.”

Growing even more confused, Jared props himself up on one elbow. “Where else would you want to raise her?”

Rubbing a hand over his belly, Jensen finally says what he’s been wanting to say for weeks. “I want to raise her closer to our families.”

Jared’s mouth opens in surprise, but he doesn’t say anything. He seems astonished, not that Jensen can blame him. They both love Los Angeles. There are a lot of great restaurants, bars, clubs and amazing parties. However, that’s not really an environment Jensen wants their kid to grow up in.

Jared blinks. “You want to move back to Texas?”

“Yeah, I guess do,” Jensen nods. “One of my friends moved to Austin recently and he loves it. It’s still a city, but it’s not LA. And it’s close to San Antonio and Dallas.”

Jared seems to mull it over for a few seconds and Jensen’s not sure if he’s about to have an argument on his hands. Though, when a huge grin splits Jared’s face, he knows he’s won.

“I’d love that,” Jared smiles. “I miss Texas, and seeing my family and friends.”

“I’m glad,” Jensen replies and cups Jared’s face. “Does that mean we’re going to look for a house in our home state?”

Grinning, Jared pulls Jensen closer. “I’ll make some calls first thing in the morning.”


	9. 8th Month

**_12 th September 2010_ **

Jensen is exhausted. They’ve been looking at houses nonstop for the past two days and if he doesn’t get to sit down _very_ soon, he’s going to pass out. Even though it’s September, it’s still sweltering hot in Austin and his shirt is soaked in sweat. He feels gross and uncomfortable.

“This is incredible! Did you see the small pond over there?” Jared beams as he follows their real estate agent up the steps of another house. At this point, Jensen has lost count of how many potential homes they’ve looked at.

While Jared effortlessly jogs up the five steps, Jensen grits his teeth. He wraps his hand around the banister and heaves himself up the stairs. In his head, he curses his boyfriend for being able to move so gracefully. Meanwhile, Jensen can’t even stand up anymore without gasping for air.

“Jay, can you slow the fuck _down_?!” Jensen snaps, when Jared skips into the house like an overly excited puppy.

Looking back, Jared at least has the decency to look a little guilty. “Sorry,” he apologizes and takes Jensen’s hand to help him up the last two steps. He smiles sheepishly. “I’m just excited.”

Jensen sighs. Now _he_ feels guilty about making his boyfriend feel bad. It’s not Jared’s fault that he can’t properly see his feet anymore or move without something aching.

“I shouldn’t have snapped at you. I’m just tired,” Jensen admits and rubs his lower back. He can’t even remember anymore what it is like to _not_ have a constant back ache.

Smiling softly, Jared leans forward and brushes his lips against Jensen’s. “How about we cancel our other showings for today and head back to the hotel instead? They have a really nice spa,” he says and wiggles his eyebrows.

The prospect of getting out of his sweaty clothes and relaxing on a lounge chair sounds heavenly. “I’d _really_ like that,” Jensen sighs.

With the knowledge that this is the last house they’ll look at for the day, Jensen makes it through the showing without a problem. It’s a really nice house. The property is in the suburbs, yet still close to the city. Their real estate agent also tells them that there are a bunch of playgrounds nearby and one of Texas’ best private schools is just down the road.

“It’s perfect,” Jared says as they’re standing side by side in the bedroom that would be a nursery. The room is flooded with natural light and the dark brown wooden floor matches the beige walls perfectly.

Jensen flinches when their little girl choses that moment to kick him in the ribs. “I think she likes it too,” he chuckles and rubs a hand over his round belly.

**_22 nd September 2010_ **

“How about Margarete?”

Jensen pulls a face. “Margarete? She’s our _daughter_ , not our grandmother.”

Jared rolls his eyes and flips a page in the book he’s reading. They’ve been at this for hours. In between takes, Jared would read random names and they’d react to it. So far, no name has sparked both their interests.

“Maxine?”

“My first girlfriend was called Maxine,” Jensen says with a grin.

This time, Jared’s the one to grimace. “We’re definitely _not_ naming our baby girl after your girlfriend from kindergarten. Moving on.”

They make it to the letter _P_ before they’re called back to set.

“I still like Abigail,” Jensen muses while they’re waiting for the cameras to roll. “It has a nice ring to it. _Abigail Ackles_.”

Jensen realizes that he’s just opened a can of worms when Jared purses his lips. “You want her to be called Ackles? Just Ackles?” he asks.

Biting his lip, Jensen doesn’t know what to say to that. While they’ve talked about their daughter’s first name, they haven’t really discussed what her family name is going to be. Even though she’s just as much Jared’s as she is his, in his head she will always be an Ackles.

“I don’t know,” Jensen says honestly. “We haven’t really talked about it.”

“I kinda thought it was obvious that she would have _both_ our names,” Jared admits, looking slightly hurt.

Jensen doesn’t want to do this. Not now. Not when they’re surrounded by cameras and other people. “Let’s not do this now, okay?”

Apparently, Jared doesn’t care about their audience. “What’s wrong with Padalecki-Ackles? Or Ackles-Padalecki?”

“Jared—”

“You’re going to give birth in less than six weeks. We need to talk about it.”

Jensen’s jaw ticks. “Jared, we’re not doing this right now.”

The tension between them keeps growing until some clears their throat. “Uhm, guys, we’re prepared to roll.”

Feeling embarrassed, Jensen looks away. “We’re ready,” he mutters and gets in position to shoot the scene. Banning their argument from his current thoughts, he focuses on getting into Dean’s mindset instead. Next to him, Jared does the same.

For the rest of the day, things are pretty strained between them. Their colleagues pick up on it, but no one brings it up. Truth be told, Jensen doesn’t even _know_ why they got into that argument in the first place. It’s not like he doesn’t _want_ their daughter to carry Jared’s name.

As much as Jensen wants to push everything to the back of his mind until they’re done shooting for the day, he’s struggling. The wriggling baby in his belly is a constant reminder of the discussion they need to have.

That afternoon, they’re shooting a scene in an abandoned factory a few miles from the studio. While the bond between the brothers is still as strong as ever, the tension between Jensen and Jared is palpable.

When Jensen is fed-up with them ignoring each other, he stalks over to his boyfriend to clear the air. He’s so focused on getting there, that he misses a pile of rubble on the ground. His foot slips out from underneath him and without anything to hold onto, he stumbles and falls. His right hip takes the brunt of it and he curses his own clumsiness and inability to navigate some slightly uneven terrain.

“Jensen!” he hears Jared shout and it doesn’t take more than three seconds for his boyfriend to be by his side. Their earlier disagreement is instantly forgotten as Jared looks him up and down with a worried frown. “Are you okay? What happened?”

“I fell,” Jensen points out the obvious. As soon as he shifts, pain explodes in his hip and he hisses. “Motherfu—”

Jared cups his face. “Are you hurt?”

Batting his boyfriend’s hands away, Jensen attempts to get up. “Jay, I _fell_. I didn’t get stabbed.”

A crowd has gathered around them and Jensen feels himself blush. He understands that they’re worried, but he feels embarrassed. He just fell over nothing more than a few rocks and debris. It’s stupid.

With the aid of his boyfriend, he makes it back to his feet. He limps over to his chair, where their set medic is already waiting with an ice pack.

The rest of the day, Jared doesn’t leave Jensen’s side except if he absolutely has to. He keeps asking if he feels alright, if he can feel the baby move or if something is hurting. Or at least hurting worse than usual.

By the time they finally make it home after a long day, Jensen has had enough of the hovering. While they’re sitting on the couch, he grabs Jared’s hands and places them on his belly. “Jay, she’s fine. You can stop freaking out,” he says and smiles when she kicks her parents’ hands.

Jared bites his lip and eyes the spot where Jensen knows a large bruise is already blossoming. “I’m just worried. You fell hard.”

Jensen rolls his eyes. “Don’t remind me. People are _never_ going to let me live this down,” he chuckles and tries not to think about how he must have flailed on the ground with his big stomach making moving more difficult.

“I’m sorry for starting an argument about her name,” Jared says suddenly and lowers his gaze. “I don’t know why I reacted like that. You’re the one carrying her. You should get to decide what she’s called.”

Jensen reaches out and tilts his boyfriend’s chin up. “I’m sorry, too. I want her to have both our names. She’s _ours_.”

The grin that splits Jared’s face makes Jensen smile. Tugging at the color of his boyfriend’s shirt, he hauls Jared closer and kisses him. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Jared mumbles against Jensen’s mouth. Pushing himself up on his arms, he crawls closer until he is leaning over Jensen’s body. Onehandedly, he begins to pull on his shirt.

However, when his hand accidentally brushes over the bruise on his side, Jensen’s grunts. Chuckling, Jared pulls back. “Maybe we shouldn’t do this.”

“Maybe,” Jensen says and lifts his shirt to inspect the damage. “Do we still have that bag of frozen peas in the freezer?”

Jared laughs. “A bag of frozen peas, coming right up,” he says and climbs off the couch.

Jensen watches his boyfriend head to the kitchen and rubs a hand over his belly. Their little girl is still wriggling and squirming, kicking and punching his organs. He can’t wait to hold the little bundle of joy in his arms.


	10. 9th Month

**_9 th October 2010_ **

Jensen groans when his lower back spasms. Arching his back, he tries to stretch out the tightly coiled muscles. Even though they’re sitting in first class, the seats aren’t nearly as comfortable for someone who’s nine months pregnant as for a regular person.

Glancing to his left, he watches Jared snooze peacefully in his window seat. Jensen doesn’t pout, but he is admittedly jealous of his boyfriend and his ability to be comfortable so easily.

The flight from Vancouver to Chicago isn’t a very long one, but Jensen can’t get there soon enough. He usually enjoys flying. It’s relaxing and always a good opportunity to catch up on sleep. That was _before_ his pregnancy, though.

In an attempt to take his mind off his various aches and pains, he reaches for his backpack and pulls out the different color schemes he and Jared are contemplating for the baby’s room. They have already moved into their new home in Austin—they went with the last house they looked at—and have settled in pretty well already. Except for their daughter’s room. The only things in there are a partly assembled crib and a ton of stuff they were gifted by family and friends. It’s looks like a warzone.

Jensen is thinking about what colors to paint the walls, when he realizes that he has to pee. _Now_.

With a huff, he stuffs the sheets into the seat pocket and heaves himself to his feet. He almost overbalances and barely catches himself. As much as he enjoys feeling the baby move and kick, he’s definitely ready for her to get out.

“Four more weeks,” he mutters to himself, while navigating the narrow aisle.

When he returns to his seat five minutes later, Jared is awake. His boyfriend stretches and squints out of the small window. “How long before we arrive at O’Hare?” he asks around a yawn.

Jensen lowers himself back down with a grunt. “73 minutes,” he replies. He’s been counting down the minutes half an hour into their flight.

Jared, who can read him like an open book, grins. “Regret your decision yet?”

“Shut up,” Jensen grumbles and looks down at his round belly. Creation Entertainment had set the dates for all conventions over a year ago already. Back then, no one could have known that Jensen would be a month away from giving birth. Everyone, including his doctor, had advised _against_ flying this close to his due date, but Jensen feels fine and so does the baby. His doctor had confirmed it and signed—although reluctantly—the papers needed to allow him to board a plane.

Feeling tired already, even though he hasn’t done anything yet, Jensen closes his eyes. He manages to doze for a little while and by the time they land in Chicago, he’s ready to fall to his knees and kiss the ground. He’s too stubborn to admit it, but maybe people were right when they said that flying while heavily pregnant is a stupid idea.

Thankfully, their hotel is close to the airport and within an hour, he and Jared are in their shared room. While Jared unpacks a couple of things, Jensen toes off his boots and collapses onto the king-sized bed.

“We’re supposed to meet Misha, Rich and Matt for dinner in forty minutes,” Jared reminds him with an amused smile.

Groaning, Jensen buries his face deeper in one of the fluffy pillows. “No way. I’m not getting up again.”

Chuckling, Jared abandons the task of unpacking and walks over to the bed. He crawls in behind Jensen and kisses his neck. “Okay, then how does room service sound?”

Jensen would smooch him if rolling over wouldn’t require that much energy. “See, that’s why I love you,” he mutters and smiles lazily. The last thing he’s aware of before falling asleep are Jared’s soft lips on his skin.

They end up canceling their dinner plans with their friends, but promise to go out with them for steaks tomorrow evening. While Jensen orders half the things off the room service menu, Jared takes a shower and gets dressed in a pair of boxers and a thin shirt.

The food gets delivered to their room half an hour later and they eat while watching Die Hard. Halfway through the movie, Jensen falls asleep and only wakes up again when their room is completely dark and Jared is snoring next to him.

Because he’s feeling hot, Jensen detangles himself from his boyfriend’s long limbs and shifts away a few inches. He suddenly becomes aware of a queasiness in his belly and he winces when a dull cramp rolls through his stomach. Okay, so _maybe_ eating a burger, fries, half a pizza _and_ a full container of chocolate pudding hadn’t been such a bright idea, but his daughter had demanded it and who was he to deny his baby girl her wishes?

Not sure if he’s actually going to be sick, Jensen slowly sits up. Jared, who’s become hyper aware of every twitch, blinks his eyes open. “Where are you going?” he mumbles.

“I think I ate too much…” Jensen is _not_ pouting. He doesn’t _do_ pouting.

Laughing softly, Jared reaches out and wraps an arm around Jensen. “I told you to stop after the first slice of pizza.”

“Not helping,” Jensen grunts.

He allows his boyfriend to maneuver him into a lying position again. While Jensen is quietly cursing his out-of-control cravings, Jared is lovingly rubbing his belly.

“She’s getting so big.” Jensen can hear the smile in Jared’s voice.

“Tell me about it. She’s getting real heavy, too,” he sighs.

With Jared gently rubbing away his stomach ache, Jensen manages to doze off again. He wakes up a couple of times throughout the rest of the night, but semi-sleep is better than no sleep at all.

When their alarm goes off at seven in the morning, Jensen wants to scream. He’s exhausted and still feeling a little off. Writing it off as heartburn, he gets ready for the convention.

“You okay?” Jared asks quietly as they wait behind the large curtain to go on stage. He looks worried and his eyes keep moving down to Jensen’s belly.

“I’m good,” Jensen replies and gives his boyfriend a tired smile. Truth be told, he’s not feeling too hot. He’s still a little nauseous and his stomach ache has returned shortly after breakfast. It sucks to feel crappy during a convention, but it isn’t the first and certainly won’t be the last, either. This is their first panel of the day and it only last thirty minutes. He’ll be fine.

Jared doesn’t look convinced. “Do you need anything?”

Despite feeling shitty, Jensen chuckles. “Stop with the mother-henning.”

Jared opens his mouth to protest, but doesn’t get the chance to when their names are announced by Rob. Jensen gives his boyfriend a wink and then walks past him to go out on stage. The fans freak out when they appear and Jensen grins. He’ll never get enough of seeing all the happy and excited faces.

As expected, most questions are baby related or have something to do with their relationship. They honestly don’t mind. The fans seem just as excited about the _Supernatural Baby_ as they are and they love to share every little detail about their little girl.

Jensen smiles when Jared tells the story of their latest ultrasound appointment, when it looked like the baby was waving her tiny hand at them. He even pulls out his phone and proudly holds the picture up for everyone to see.

Jensen is listening to his boyfriend’s answer to the last question of the panel, when a sharp pain in his abdomen literally takes his breath away. Sucking in a startled breath, he tries not to curse or crush the microphone he’s got clutched in his hand.

There’s applause, a standing ovation and then Jensen is shepherded off the stage by Jared. Feeling dazed, he almost stumbles down the two steps that lead backstage. The pain in his belly has lessened again, but it’s still lingering just below the surface. That can’t be good.

“Jay—”

“Alright, boys,” Emma, the event coordinator, interrupts him before he can get his boyfriend’s attention, “Jared, you’re scheduled for photo ops in room 2B. Jensen, autographs in 4A.”

Before Jensen can open his mouth again, Jared is ushered away and he is escorted down a different hallway. Taking a deep breath, he tries to calm down. He’s been having mild contractions for about two weeks already. According to his doctor, they’re completely normal and harmless. Despite that, he can’t help but feel that _these_ ones are different.

However, as soon as the first fans are led into the room, Jensen plasters a smile on his face and tries to relax. The pain in his abdomen is almost gone and he doesn’t want to cause a scene because of something that’s probably just Braxton Hicks contractions.

Jensen has been sitting at the large table for almost an hour, when a particularly bad cramp causes him to drop his pen to the floor. He apologizes to the young fan and bends down awkwardly to pick it up. Thankfully, Clif has just entered the room a few minutes ago and quickly walks forward to help. When both their heads are underneath the table, Jensen grabs Clif’s arm and pulls him closer. “You gotta get me out of here, man,” he says and gives his bodyguard a desperate look. He can feel another cramp coming and bites his lip.

Clif blinks. “What’s wrong? You okay?”

Jensen blows out a shaky breath. “I think I’m in labor…”

Clif’s eyes widen. “Are you _sure_?”

The next contraction hits Jensen like a ton of bricks and he stifles a groan. He ducks his head and tries to breathe through the agonizing pain. He thought the heartburn and indigestions were bad, but this is _nothing_ in comparison. It feels like something is crying to claw its way out through his stomach.

While he’s still fighting through the contraction, he feels Clif pull away. He’s in too much pain to question it, so he just stays where he is, halfway hidden underneath the table, and breathes.

When the contraction abates a minute later and he finally manages to straighten up, he’s relieved to see that all the fans have been asked to leave the room and only a handful of staff is left.

Clif appears back at his side with a smile. “That little girl of yours sure has interesting timing,” he jokes, as he helps Jensen to his feet.

Jensen just snorts out a laugh and follows Clif back to the greenroom. As soon as they enter, everyone turns around to stare at him. News travel fast, apparently.

Before anyone can say something, the door on the other side of the room flies open and Jared bursts in. As soon as his eyes find Jensen’s, he rushes across the room and almost runs his boyfriend over. “You’re having contractions?!” he gasps, eyes wide and wild.

Jensen gives him a tight smile and rubs a hand over his belly. “I think so, yeah.”

Jared exhales shakily and runs his fingers through his hair. His entire hand is trembling. “Okay,” he breathes and nods to himself. “We, uh, we gotta go to the hospital, right? We need a car. Or a cab. And our bags from the hotel. Oh, god, we don’t have the hospital bag with us. What are we doing now?! Everything we need is in there!”

Not sure if he should be concerned or amused about Jared’s preparental freak-out, Jensen takes a step forward and grabs his arms. “Jay, you _have_ to calm down, okay? Take a deep breath.”

Still looking panicked, Jared does as he’s told. After three breaths, he seems a bit calmer and gives Jensen a sheepish smile. “Sorry… I think _I_ should be the one coaching _you_ through this thing…”

Jensen chuckles. “Don’t sweat it.” He winces when he feels another contraction approach. “As much as I enjoy seeing you all cute and flustered, I could _really_ use some painkillers right about now.”

“Right,” Jared smiles nervously. He looks up at Clif and nods his head. “Let’s go.”

The ride to the closest hospital is the longest drive Jensen’s ever experienced in his life. While Clif promises that he’s going as fast as possible, Jensen still thinks it’s too slow. The contractions are getting longer and closer together and if they don’t get to the hospital within the next twenty minutes, he’s going to give birth to their daughter in the backseat of the car.

The hospital is already in sight when Jensen suddenly feels like he can’t breathe. It feels like something is squeezing his lungs and when he tries to take a deep breath, he barely manages to inhale anything at all.

“Jared…” he wheezes and tugs at the collar of his shirt. Cold sweat breaks out all over his body and his head begins to swim.

Something is wrong.

Through the blood roaring in his ears, Jensen can hear Jared shout and he can sense how the car accelerates. He feels Jared’s hands on his face, but things are getting foggier by the second.

The last thing he’s aware of before he loses consciousness is Jared’s frantic shout of his name.

When Jensen opens his eyes, everything is blurry and way too bright. He blinks his eyes and when things finally swim into focus, he realizes that he’s in a hospital.

Bit by bit, his memories return and when he remembers the painful contractions, followed by the crushing inability to breath, he almost chokes. He tries to sit up, but his limbs feel like lead and there’s a sharp pain across his lower abdomen. He gasps and squeezes his eyes shut. A million thoughts are racing through his head but he can’t hold onto a single one of them.

Then, a warm hand grabs his own, slowing his whirling thoughts down instantly.

“Jensen?” a familiar voice askes and Jensen latches onto it like a drowning man. He slowly turns his head toward the voice and feels a rush of relief when he meets Jared’s hazel eyes.

“Jay…” he whispers and squeezes the fingers that are entangled with his.

Even though his brain is still sluggish, it doesn’t take much for Jensen to see how drawn and exhausted his boyfriend looks. Jared is pale and his eyes are bloodshot and glassy. Jensen’s heart sinks.

Jared reaches out and brushes his fingertips over Jensen’s cheek. “You’re awake,” he says quietly and smiles softly. “It’s about time.”

Swallowing against the dryness in his throat, Jensen tries to hold onto a thought that keeps slipping his mind. He knows there’s something he should remember. Only when he shifts and he feels the stabbing pain near his navel again, does the memory come back. His heart begins to beat faster and he stares at Jared.

“The baby… Is she—”

Jared shushes him. “She’s fine, I promise.”

Jensen closes his eyes. Thank god.

“They had to get her out by c-section because there were some complications, but she was a trooper. Screamed her head off as soon as she was out,” Jared chuckles. “She’s currently getting fed by nurses because, apparently, she has my appetite.”

Jensen smiles wearily. He runs his fingers down his belly and winces when they brush over a thick bandage that covers about ten inches of his abdomen. “What happened?”

The smile on Jared’s face falters. “You had a blood clot. They… they didn’t know if you were going to make it. There was a lot of bleeding and…” his voice cracks and a tear spills over his cheek. He sniffs and quickly brushes it away. “Sorry. I just… I was so damned _scared_.”

Jensen squeezes Jared’s hand. “I’m sorry for scaring you.”

“I’m just glad you’re both okay.”

There’s a knock on the door then and a darkhaired nurse enters the room. She’s carrying a wiggling, pink blanket and she smiles when she sees that Jensen is awake. “I think someone is missing her daddy,” she chuckles, just as the baby lets out a high-pitched squeal.

Overcome by emotions, Jensen holds out his arms. He’s waited nine months for this moment, and even though he missed the actual birth, the feelings he has for his daughter aren’t any less. Thirty-six long, exhausting and sometimes grueling weeks and he finally gets to hold his baby in his arms.

As soon as the baby is placed on his chest, she calms down. She opens her big, hazel eyes—just like Jared’s—and blinks at him with what looks like a frown. Jensen laughs and only realizes that he’s crying when Jared wipes a tear off his face.

“She’s perfect, isn’t she?” Jared muses as he reaches out to grab one of her tiny hands. The little girl instantly wraps her entire hand around his finger and brings it to her mouth.

Jensen chuckles. “Perfect _and_ still hungry, just like your papa,” he says and kisses her forehead. He never thought he could love anything the way he loves this little human being. She’s only a couple of hours old, but he already knows that he would lay down his life for her in a heartbeat. And, looking at the fond expression on Jared’s face, he knows that he feels the same way.

“We’re parents now,” Jensen says suddenly and laughs. “We’re _real parents_.”

Jared grins and kisses the top of his head. “We are. We’re a family.”

Blinking back tears, Jensen tilts his head back and smiles up at his boyfriend. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.”

Jensen’s never been more exhausted in his entire life. His entire body feels sore and he can’t remember the last time he’s slept for more than two hours straight. He feels sluggish and a little out of it, but he’s happy. Truly and entirely happy.

The scar on his abdomen twinges when he climbs up the steps to the small private plane and he winces when he feels a sharp stab of pain as he turns to look over his shoulder. Behind him, Jared is walking slowly up the stairs as well, carefully carrying their daughter in his arms. Her baby carrier is dangling from Clif’s right arm, along with her diaper bag and suitcase.

Jensen chuckles. How on earth can one tiny person require that much stuff?

Inside the plane, he sits down in one of the wide seats and rubs a hand over his lower belly. It’s been a week since the c-section and the incision is healing nicely, but it’s still a little tender and itchy. They decided to chart a private plane for their trip back home, simply because it gives them more privacy and is more comfortable for Jensen.

When Jared enters the plane, he heads over to his boyfriend and slowly bends down to transfer the sleeping baby from his arms to Jensen’s. The little girl only twitches once and smacks her tiny lips, before settling down again. Jensen smiles.

“I’ll go help Clif with the other suitcases,” he announces before disappearing again.

Getting comfortable in his seat, Jensen gently rocks the baby in his arms. Their stay at the hospital had been great and the staff had been wonderful, but they are ready to head home to Austin now. In their absence, both their families had worked together and finished the nursery— _after_ scolding them for not thinking about finishing it sooner—and it looks absolutely beautiful.

Jensen is still looking at their perfect daughter, when Jared comes back and sits down in the seat across from Jared. “You ready?” he asks as he buckles himself in.

“Ready,” Jensen agrees and looks down at the slumbering baby. “What about you, Josie? Are you ready for your first ever flight?”

“I got another text from my mom. They’re setting up a welcome home lunch for us. _If_ you’re up for it,” he adds.

Unable to tear his gaze away from the baby, Jensen nods. “I’d love to see everyone. And I’m sure they can’t wait to meet Josie.”

The flight back home passes quicker than expected and Josie sleeps through most of it. Even Jensen manages to get some shuteye and when they arrive in Austin, he doesn’t feel like he’s about to fall asleep standing upright anymore.

Clif drives them to their house and before they’re even out of the car, their families come outside to greet them. The baby is quickly taken out of her car seat and being showered with love and affection.

While the women disappear inside the house with the newest addition to the family, the men help Jared unpack the luggage.

They all meet up in the living room, which is covered in balloons, banners and flowers. Deliciously smelling food is piled onto a table and Jensen can’t even sit down before his mother shoves a plate with his favorite dishes in his hand.

While he eats, Jensen takes a moment to just take everything in. His and Jared’s mothers are cooing at Josie, who’s cradled in Megan’s arm. Mackenzie is kneeling on the floor next to them with a bright smile on her face. Their dads, along with Jared’s brother Jeff, are trying to assemble what looks like a baby gate, and Jared is sitting on the couch with Josh, showing him pictures of baby Josie.

Jensen smiles.

This is it. This is their new life. And he wouldn’t trade it for anything else in the world.


End file.
